
Roland
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Everything posted by Roland
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Never heard that before! You sure, golly at over 200miles an hour in a swoop...
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I see their Prime minister has said - because 50% or more are arson / I.e. started deliberately - that these arsonists should be tried for MASS Murder! I 100% agree with him. If no capital punishment available, then they should stay the rest of their miserable lifes in a Nut House with no prospect of ever being released. They must be callous mental cases, so either inject them or ... Chain them to some railings twice a week at tlocal train stations, and let the women and families have a chance to put their views / feelings across. Just leave them and collect at night!
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The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.' I guess us men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied … 'in-laws' W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 5,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...> > The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' CREATION A man said t o his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.' The husband said, ' You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.' Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.' So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........'HEBREWS' God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT Ah there is the problem ..A smart woman!
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A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.' Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' Confused. the girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?' The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.
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Between the micky taking he says spouts some very good sensible logic. Reminds me of Vic a lot... Great when tanked up... and great when spouting truths. We are lucky really, for we can have it both ways - not sex Asha behave - with these two.
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Help !! New loft, do I get OB's or YB's?
Roland replied to a topic in Novices, Beginners & Young Fanciers
Sorry, never have before... But would go for Old Birds and breed youngsters in their' Loft! Always buy in a round of late breds in July / August to supplement or adjust. Buy the 'Blood' for the distance that you wish to compete at in 2 years time. Nothing more sould distory I'd say that keep buying in youngsters... Though know a couple of good class fanciers that do just to race them. Get shot of at season's end regardless as they have their' birds / race team for the old bird race season for the races they want. But don't of course fly them as youngsters, even yearlings sometimes. -
Fine by me. I am a great lover of the distance. We are o nly treading where 100's have already gone... and farther, but for us we must have, need a challenge. So China, Canada, Austrailia and many others can choos a course and even stay within their own country. We can't of course. But the 1000 miles have been done here many times of course... not by most of us though. -Never had the chance or would have personally. But agree let's stay at 500 +. I can do the 469 any season but not the 500... That is a challenge, and one has to send their BEST birds with hope. Sure some say; Provided they still have the parents'! :-/ If they do it, then great... if not, then if a distance flyer that should tell you somethimng about that pairing.
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Seems every year he has to dig a path way to his loft that is covered. Keeps them warm I suppose... and him digging lol.
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The great thing is WE need snow / cold winters to kill of stacks of ills that affect our Birds. These warm winters don't help our Birds... Mark my words, pigeon will be better and healthier this coming season. I have my grills, nest Bowls always washed and left out. Doing them the world of good now!
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Don't feel there is any boundries when crisis arose. Mostly Money and Religon. Often one and the same thing at that.
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Yep and a few more I think could be shown lol. Thanks Couldn't sort them me self Thanks again
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bhw to sponser race open for NATION FROM OSLOWHAT
Roland replied to walterbmasson's topic in Notice Board
Best one I like the idea of. Moscow will never be a serious option. Agree, and weather wise also. I'd have a go. Rome was flipping hot! Then the Alps etc. But Hamburg... depending on Wind per usual where best times etc. would be, but could well a good race. Have to also have sensible and FAIR sections for everyone to have a chance of deserved merits for their' birds acheivements. Otherwise, better of buying a couple of bags of feed! Because there is very limited chances of winning in certain areas. So they with a wing and a prayer MAY enter if their was a certainty of their bird getting merit when deserved. -
Have some photo's of mates loft etc. in Canada. But can't download them, nor copy them to a folder. Anyone know how to, just pm me with their Addie and I'll forward them to you to put up. Don't think we'd ever complain about Snow again lol ;D
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Must say Ireland always seem to fall along the way somehow. Remember when Wales cuppered their dreams in last 2 minutes... after a Knock On wasn't called. then France again of course, Wales are certainly on a roll and going from strength to strength. England... :B :B :B should have kept Ashby. At least till they found a sensible and expierence manager. :-/ :-/ I further believe, sadly, that the managerment in trying to applease, have scuppered all and any chance for the next few year. Took a leaf out of the F.A.'S of silly 'Names' andin their case 'Yes' Men! :K) :K) :K) After the last one that wouldn't 'Cow Cow' to them,namely Alf Ramsey, they went for self Glory and a way to interfer ... Ego's too big. 8) 8) 8) Now I fear we will be one place above Italy at best. Mind we are top at the moment, so will frame a copy while I'm able lol
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Very nice. personally I would have put Plastic Cladding .... same effect, waterproof and lasts forever.
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Well wouldn't be as icy as Asha, but believe him too be right!
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Mine would be 469 Thurso. As far as I can North. Would mean joining a South Rd. so called National club for the honour otherwise.
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Not allowed now via our North Rd Fed to send yearlings to Lerwick. Would have to send on South. Mate had a yearling doing nearly 15 hours on the wing this last season. Was well placed too.
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Yes that be as it may... the child that lost his life won't remember either! Nor will the family that lost that child as well. Yes I feel for the family of the deseased. And I do know, like ALL posters on here. A child lost his life. Agreed too late for that family... But what about the next one very shortly to happened. Are we to feel for the bereaved also?! NOW many have the chance to endevour never to give their' DOG a chance ever to do the same. What about them!? Are we again to feel for them?! Or the 'Person(s)' buying or having one such like dog this next week / months! Are we to feel for them and their's when another precious life is lost!
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Too many like to show a chest and Medallion, hank the Pitball (or relative killing dog) and watch people cross over or give them a wide birth. Law is flounted. And the silly ones, like just two weeks ago spouting at a fellow on the radio saying surely there is a time and a place IF ever for such dogs that he ought too stop spreading popaganda, that she had two massive Argentina FIGHTING dogs and would trusyt them with her daughter who was 15 as they'd grown up with them, and HER grandchildren as ONE must know their dogs. Asked what would happen if they set about a child -- wouldn't answer just spouting 'But they would never turn... 'But what if they did, could you call them off or part them'! Answer, It would never happen, it's the owners fault and THEY should have one in the first PLACE'! Eeekkk Surely when choosing a dog, 1. these things should be taken into consideration. 2 does one really need one! I'll tell you two things, if a Rockfiler chooses to chew your head, he is more than capable of throw you, let alone a kid, around like a rag doll. If a Pitball decides to grip you ny the nuts, wave tat tar to them. An adult, let aloe a child has no chance in reality. Been close Twice to being chewed up by a Rockfiler. Niether owner knew what to do, or what they was going to do to be... A lead and 'Walkies' saved me first time, and a rubber ball bounce into the living room the second time. Time the law was enfored regarding 'The dangerous Dog' act. One, the next child badly maimed or killed if one too many!
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Mine spend their first week away from their parents in and out the basket. Fed in them and from there placed above lofts etc. Allowed to walk in and out last 3 days or so on their own. Pain keeping clean sometimes like lol.
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How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohican Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!! PASS THIS ON TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS CHEERING UP, AS THIS WILL DO IT.
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TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE." THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, "YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!" "DEAD?" SAYS HIS FRIEND, "WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER." HIS FRIEND SAYS, "COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH." "A WITCH ??. . . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW... TAKING MY TEETH WITH HER."
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If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems: 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 3 - Half the people you know are below average. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. 10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... but she left me before we met. 12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? 13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. 19 - I intend to live forever.... so far, so good. 20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread 29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 30 - The prob lem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. 33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. 34 - Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? And a favorite- 35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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Of course and only an idiot would say otherwise! ....