Roland Posted May 25, 2011 Report Posted May 25, 2011 A wee laugh! My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning. Can you believe that - 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes..... The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner - talk about Dyson with death. Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says "How do you know?" He says "The sex is the same, but the ironing is building up!" I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency. I spent £40 on eBay last week for a penis enlarger. Just opened it and some swine sent me a magnifying glass! I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet... What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One's a superhero and the other is an instruction. Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my *expletive removed*! Do you think I should change dentists? I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die, you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said "I would like to come back as a cow." I said "You're obviously not listening..." Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called a wedding cake. The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back. Hi mate I don't want you to panic but I'm texting you from the casualty ward. Turns out the new Dyson Ball Cleaner isn't what I thought it was.
sapper756 Posted May 25, 2011 Report Posted May 25, 2011 VERY GOODhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0137-clapping.gif
butcher Posted May 27, 2011 Report Posted May 27, 2011 Carlos Tevez is the latest footballer linked to a super injunction. Apparently, the bird he was with doesnt want to be named
kev01293 Posted May 27, 2011 Report Posted May 27, 2011 just what i needed roland i was feeling a bit pxssed off b4 i read them lmao
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