Shortly after British Airways flight had reached it's cruising altitude,the captain announced : " Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain, welcome to Flight 293 non - stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and .....OH,MY GOD !! OH, MY GOD!! NO, NO !! Silence followed !! Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom. " Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you a flight attendant spilled a cup of coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants." One Irish passenger yelled.... " For f*#k's sake.... you should see the back of mine ! ! !