Roland

Brian , an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. ‘ Wh at happened to you?" asked his wife. "I had a terrible day." replied Brian. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I went up and sure enough there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half." "I see" said his wife, "but how did you get the black eye?" Brian replied: "Wrong room."

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist! (TRUE STORY).. Scientists at Canada's National Research Centre in Ottawa built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. NASA engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the NASA engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Americans sent the Canadian Research Facility the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the Canadian scientists for suggestions. The Canadian Research Facility responded with a one-line memo:... "Defrost the chicken."

Well I certainly wish him every sucess than.

Think if there is any more 'Sticky's' there won't be any room left for 'Headings' lol. Any way you behave strapper and stop spouting out about being a famed and Gold member with all your advantages! ;D ;D

Have a false piece of plywood that fits the box. - Not going to use nest bowls anymore, going back to placing bricks at right angles. Then at 10 daysold, youngsters will lift them out. Will sling the board and rubbish out and replace with clean bricks, warmed up with a blow torch. Old bricks cleanse and burnt with blow torch. Will then do same as and when needed. Gets the youngsters used to me, and being handled as well.

Hi Jacking a Thread eh! :-/ ;D ;D ;D

We are but like a mist on the ground ... which ceases to be as the sun rises... here but for a short amount of time. Sad indeed, R.I.P

Had my say too P. I think you and Jimmy Bulgar hit the nail on the head simply, concisely in a nutshell. Whereas me :-/, Well the shebert took my truth and ran with it lol.

Welcome ... presume we will be overrun now again with your snippets of wisdom lol. :P ;D ;D ;D

There! No sooner does Duncan ease up on buying the jewals and giving me a chance than the better half is off and up and running lol :P ;D ;D ;D I just hope they are not buying to compete with each other... In both the amount of birds and racing against each other lol Just Joshing Mrs :B ;D ;D

Working me way up to get a decent deal on some good birds lol. No stupid me eh! :P ;D ;D

Agree with Jimmy Bulgar. Lets have some truth and reality.... I think personally that the 'Bashing' of sellers is bad, useless thing that is for the brain dead. Further a shamefully and contrived if not a nasty piece of skulduggery. Yes! Sorry Bigda, but you are a stirrer! Nothing more, nothing less than a somewhat silly fetish of senseless idiocy. So you enjoy taking people to task for no other reason than ' ‘Personal tripe', trying to boost a inflated ego no doubt. So you persist again and again throwing the dummy out of the pram. EVERY question from you is in actually fact an insult to any one that has an IQ over just below normal. You never buy. Never ask senile or even pertinent question, you just slag in your soudo stupidity that you 'Think' is an open question. Well here’s a couple for you or so for you. Have you ever bought a bird offered on here? Do you even think of buying a bird? What makes you think that your something clever with your non stop stupid, though trying camouflaged, if poorly stupid' crap. Insults of having a go and any and every fancier that you have 'Issues' with. Never crossed your mind that you are a cause of most things you don't like coming your way :-/ Of course not that means looking in the mirror. Do I like or dislike you? Couldn’t waste any energy debating a stupid scenario. In reality I couldn't give a toss one way or another if you ever posted again. Certainly would lose no sleep, and would rest easy knowing I’ve not lost a split second of sensibility, let alone any worthwhile post of any benefit and that’s for sure. So Jargre, like a few others, tell, and have told you a few home truths! Live with it, grow up and get over it, better still believe them. I could write an essay on your stupidity and self-important ego... all, like you to no avail I guess. You need to be able to face facts and look at your self to even try and better your self. sadly your past that. Further I believe that yours, and other personal dislike that interrupt and ruin topics should just be place where they deserve to be... in the Bin. Now just where are the ‘Mods that should be doing this :-/ Keeping the topic cleat or worthless stupidity or such? I know, like a coppers, nowhere around when needed. For Gaul sake get off you’re round belly and leave folks alone. Photo's pedigrees etc. you keep banging on about to them all... Why? If interested, buy, if not stop being a stupid pain in the neck! Simple that/…. Or do you need an interpreter to spell it out also Ah well because much be the answer, and it certainly can't be because you’re interested. Nor because you may buy one, and even more so it is not to help any novice or newbie, for all you do is drive them away from good and often great birds at a sensible price!

To be perfectly honest 'Nothing' your word would more than suffice with me Tony. Other information if colour.... and sex / likely sex as to taking after which parent etc.

A genuine, generous and tireless worker for both the site and the sport. Also a very good and fair Mod. One where anyone can go to, disuss in confidence and 'Off the Record' so to speak too, again in confidence. Yes he has given me a 'Flea in the ear' etc. But has always seen both sides, (Not mine often lol) but has taken a netural view and put a way forward that was best for all concerned and the site. Glad he's back. Like I say, should never have gone.

no, be too good for that league. they would be so far behind of his thinking and what he was doing he'd look bad. ;D ;D ;D ;D But joking aside he is a great player, 100% guy and a great Role Model for any inspiring lad. and would bring a lot to any table --- or team he plays for. Like liverpools least played player yet was top goal scorer when they sold him :-/ :-/

Good advice. Yes as you are now a mite wiser. However that may also put you back as you try to improve and inadvertantly change the reason you have done so well. So again little changes one at a time, and watch for the results. Sent a pm

Sometimes in life, the first loss is the best loss. I believe any sign of a poor constitution for example should be erradicated. Or just used as a fosdter parent. have funnily enough a couple of pairs that shouldn't be here I guess. But they will be used to rear other birds and then lost given the chance by Mr. basket.

Well, days end it boils down to you Either like the bird(s) offered or don't. You either are interested in buying or not, and the one main thing for me is the simple gut feeling. Do i trust the man :-/ Never mind like or dislike trust is another matter altogether. If you do and want a buy, then go ahead. If not just refrain from posting I guess. On a personal note, I don't need any more birds, for as many will know I've bought in well since my 'Poor season' etc. and past 4 seasons. I have one little grizzle hen though. one where I trust it's sauce. I believe it is bred from good stock and am hopeful. I went down just past Pauls in Abba for a Cock bird I've bought for her, and was hoping for Paul for an invite to call in strappers, but henever got the whiskey out so ;D ;D ;D.... Have since decided on another hen for that cock so... :-/ I have 13 - 14 hens spare.- Going to race them celibacy then mated. Was one of Pauls not sold i nearly went after, but am finding it hard to convince myself, let alone the boss with the purse that I need to buy again. Infact I don't to be perfectly honest. Where am going and what am I leading up to. Well being tempted to buy a cock for her, Jargre / White Knight seem to have what I feel could suit - So have decided to pm Jargre and ask him to sell me a birds because I trust his birds to be good. He has no need to lie to me... I'm not his wife or bed mate lol, but think IT will be a good decision. For lets face it I will have done stacks of bad decisions many times, and will again... time I stopped that eh!

Of course. every action has a reaction, as simple as that.

Some sense again leighton. But you know it is the going out of one inviroment to another where the hassle starts. especially to a detrimental one. When a pigeon - most birds- puff up their feathers they create awell ventilated warm body. These is nature and does no harm at all of course. When pigens are let out, and fit and 90% in condition they swoop out nigh knocking you over. Now I for one wouldn't want mind in that condition yet till the last weel in may, first week in June. Yet whether inside or outside the airflow and climate is taken in their stride. No downing of an adverse weather / condition change. Fit men train to get fitter, and all creatures have a dormant, replenishing period. A safty vave if you like to stop stress. Now my birds droppings this morning were firm round balls of green with a splash of crisp white on top. Afternoon after cleaning out and a little chat lol, they are fed. Go back to sprinkle a little hemp or maize in and their droppings are brown... well till walked on lol. Now I have downing feathers dropping regularly. Eys bright, and alert. They hit the floor as soon as they hear me come out the house. They watch me close and strut to me Beaks are mostly whie and the sheen on necks are that beatiful glowing of shiney colour. Would one say my birds are not healthy and in good nick because I don't get nut brown ball as droppings?

Well that is the scenario Lieghton and you well dispict it. However you have complete miss the understanding of 'Hardiness etc. Take athletes, they train in all weathere. and it is in the bad so called weathers where they train outside and hone their bodies. They do much, and face many adverse conditions in order to come into form when the sun is out. Incidently their' results are normally variable in terms of times etc. in regards the conditions. they don't wait for 'Better, more suitable days - likewise most sports. Morning or night. Now to get up in a warm inviroment and go straight out use to be the norm in the forces and us at school is now taboo!. We, they, for now the tendacy is to feel that going strainght out into a cold, damp or wet invioroment is a sin. Must let the body adjust before taking in culps of air. However, after a cup of coa co or whatever and a little padding, a climatising first they are fine, and of one goes. Indeed many are the 'Stars' that have not been able to train in the winter months, that can't achieve a peak conditrion. Some sports granted have their members move over seas in winter granted. Most stay put, well those that need to build up a hardy, and tough mind sett etc. NATUREAL birds have their mind set program throughout the year ALL weathers. This is why they tend to dominate the harder and longer races.... Just look at the National results! Say 705 of these harder and distance races are won on the natureal, - indeed more sprints etc. now than ever before. And 70% of the natureal winners are Hens! Likewise when one lets their' birds out. Mine go out 365 days a year - till this season as I have more stock birds which I've seldom ever had. Like all birds used to beore the P.O.B area's of course. These names that supposedly let us believe what you sate is also a fallacy. I've been to many of their lofts, including a name you mentioned. That is why I wonder if you have. Seen many cover over the open front with Plastic sheeting for instance. That stops the rain etc. from going in and a little draught.... something to be avoided all season. But I tend to feel this is a mite of topic and these last two posts or so may well be moved to another new topic.

Used to collect one and spread it , then take back and replace. great for natureal minerals. Likewise Coal. I know that if you see a bird missing when pecking up - can't see this of course unless hand feding to floor - a little charcoal sorts and fixes within 24 hours.

Sam and Bessie are senior citizens, and Sam has always wanted an expensive pair of alligator cowboy boots. Seeing them on sale one day, he buys a pair and wears them home, asking Bessie, "So, do you notice anything different about me?" "What's different? It's the same shirt you wore yesterday and the same pants." "What's different?" Frustrated, Sam goes into the bathroom, undresses and comes out completely naked, wearing only his new boots. Again he says, "Bessie, do you notice anything different?" "What's different, Sam? It's hanging down today; it was hanging down yesterday and will be hanging down again tomorrow." Angrily, Sam yells, "Do you know why it's hanging down? 'Cause it's looking at my new boots!!" Bessie replies, "Well you should have bought a hat!" A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends £5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29"."I am actually 47." Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds." A concerned husband went to the doctor to talk about his wife. He said to the doctor, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things." "Well," the doctor replied, "go home tonight, stand about 15 feet from her, and say something. If she doesn't reply, move 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this until we get an idea about the severity of her deafness." The husband went home and did exactly as the doctor had instructed. He started off 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she was chopping some vegetables. He said, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He heard no response. He moved 5 feet closer and asked again. No reply. He moved 5 feet closer. Still no reply He finally got fed up and moved right behind her, about an inch away, and asked again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replied, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!" A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?†Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense," So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh**." At 85 years, Morris marries a lovely 25-year-old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate bedrooms. She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the wedding festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting. Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night. After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there old Morris is again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves. She is certainly ready for slumber at this point, and is close to sleep, for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old and ready for more. Once again they do the horizontal boogie. As they're laying in afterglow the young bride says to him, "I am really impressed that a man your age has enough juice to go at it three times. I've been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one time. You're a great lover Morris." Morris looks confused, and turns to her and says," Have I been here already?" "Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

When you sending some down tae ma Clem ;) ;D Yep they look the part.

I think the climate one allows into the loft decides a lot too regards droppings. My loft is well vented and has a breeze blowing through it, and overhead every time it blows just a mite even. This draws constantly from the front etc. and goes, after hitting the back of the loft, out through the top centre. Call ‘Air circulating’ which is all-important. Not in front bottom and up and out the top at the back! Also as it is open to the elements. Open to the cool, damp air outside / INSIDE! I expect only firm nut brown after the teatime feed. Yes if I closed of the wire fronts etc. and stopped the blowing through / overhead I would have those dropping nigh all the time.... But I wish to put a little 'hardness' and 'Nature' into them. This I feel augurs better in the 'Mid to Later' stages of the race season. When warmer weather, drier climate, sunny and what not come to the fore. Time then to prepare and condition and watch the droppings etc. Which is deffinately no substitute for watching them parade and scoot about on the roof tops... or not as it may be! If I was, or could be interested, or even bothered to get up and clock in the sprints races etc. then yes I might have a concealed and warmer loft. But the birds are in ‘Off Season’ and though most have been paired and then separated again ready for the breeding to start, I’m not ready to put them together now. They will have a fortnight to fly of ‘Inner Fat’ etc. before being put back together. Feathers are still silky smooth etc. Beaks white and eyes bright. Wattle crisp white. Fresh down feathers most days. Alert and yet calm, Hands soon white with bloom when handled, so I know my birds are in great condition. Further I know in May when I start putting them on the road they will be, lean, mean, and ready to fly; for it won't take much to get them into race condition. Further, they will be fresh and ready for the harder, and longer races. Yes if they are good enough they will have every chance to excel etc. As of now, well, change of diets, weather, merit the droppings. As for me, I could not give a fickled rats bottom if the droppings are green with white on top. Nor could carel ess about the odd white clear droppings either for that matter. Or even the slimey thick stuff once in a while I'll be seeing! I know when needed, and I’m interested, they will be at hand to do the task asking... if they are good enough!