Joke

[sapper756]

I do not intend to offend anyonehttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif

 

Irish Logic

 

 

An American tourist asks an Irish fisherman:

 

"Why do Scuba Divers always fall backwards off their boats into the water?"

 

To which the Irishman replies

 

"If dey fell forwards they'd still be in the fookin' boat."http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif

 

LETS HEAR YOUR JOKEShttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif

[THE FIFER]

:D :D

[just ask me]

[kirky cowboy]

two cannibals father and son out looking for somthing to eat they come across a big beautiful blond.son says can we eat her now dad,dad says no son we will take her home and eat your mother.

[sapper756]

two cannibals father and son out looking for somthing to eat they come across a big beautiful blond.son says can we eat her now dad,dad says no son we will take her home and eat your mother. http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif

 

 

VERY GOODhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif

[THE FIFER]

:D :D

[pigeonpete]

teacher says to little paddy, "the essay you wrote about your dog is word for word the same as your brothers" " of course it is " said paddy " its the same fookin dog"

[sapper756]

teacher says to little paddy, "the essay you wrote about your dog is word for word the same as your brothers" " of course it is " said paddy " its the same fookin dog" http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif

 

 

I like it petehttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/wink.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif

[sapper756]

Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.

Client: Well, give me the bad news first.

Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene

Client: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good news?

Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif

 

 

[sapper756]

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny,Pat?"

 

"I just saw one of your garters!"

 

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"

 

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"

 

"I just saw both of your garters!"

 

Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"

 

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

 

"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.

 

"From what I just saw, my school days are over!" http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif

 

[JohnQuinn]

[bibendium]

Teacher asks the class to give a sentence with the word fascinate in it.

 

Wee Johnnie replys my auntie Jean has a cardigan with ten buttons on it , but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight ;)

[kirky cowboy]

teacher say,s take out your pencils.wee boy says av no got wan.teacher it is not av no got wan it is i have not got one she has not got one he has not got one wee boy says well who in the fcuks got them aw

[OLDYELLOW]

teacher says to class can anyone use contagious in a sentence

wee Johny replied 'ma dad says look at the neighbour hes painting fence with a 1 inch brush its going to take that cant ages'

[Guest grizzler]

fella goes into a bar,and sits down next to a bloke who has a small box.whats in the box he asks him,take a look he says.so he opens the box and theres a little fella playing a piano.thats great he says.theres a genie out the back who grants your every wish says the other bloke.so the guy goes round the back,and says to the genie,i wish i had a million quid...quick as a flash theres a million squid all wriggling around on the ground.so the bloke rushes back into the bar and

says that genies crap,the other bloke says i know....do you think i asked for a 12 inch pianist

[Roland]

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.

 

There was a sign on the cage that said £50.00.

 

'Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

 

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

 

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

 

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,"New house, new madam."

 

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."

 

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

 

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

 

Moments later, the woman's husband Keith

 

came home from work.

 

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."

[sapper756]

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif

[billt]

In the olden days when people were even poorer, Little Tommy said to his mum can i have a piece of candle to eat, mum said you can't eat candles, ah said Tommy, I heard dad say snuff out the candle and lets have a bit

[kirky cowboy]

two guys come oot the pub drunk one said to the other let,s take short cut through grave yard other one said naw there,s a ghost in there first one goes anyway ghost say,s whit,s that yiv got guy say,s its a humph,ghost does spell humph disappers,guy runs oot tells pal wit happens,he goes in meets ghost,ghost says wits that you,ve got guy say,s its a wooden leg,ghost says well there,s a humph to go way it

[DOVEScot]

Snow White

The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine

early each morning.

 

 

As always, Snow White stayed home doing her

domestic chores.

 

 

 

As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their

lunch and carry it to the mine.

 

 

 

One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw

that there had been a terrible cave-in.

 

Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White

began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had

somehow survived.

'Hello...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me?

Hello!'

 

 

 

For a long while, there was no answer. Losing

hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is

anyone down there?'

 

 

 

 

Just as she was about to give up all hope, she

heard a faint voice from deep within the mine,

singing;

ENGLAND FOR THE WORLD CUP

Snow White fell to her knees and prayed,

'Oh, thank you, God!

 

At least Dopey is still alive.

[sapper756]

Snow White

The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine

early each morning.

 

 

As always, Snow White stayed home doing her

domestic chores.

 

 

 

As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their

lunch and carry it to the mine.

 

 

 

One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw

that there had been a terrible cave-in.

 

Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White

began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had

somehow survived.

'Hello...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me?

Hello!'

 

 

 

For a long while, there was no answer. Losing

hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is

anyone down there?'

 

 

 

 

Just as she was about to give up all hope, she

heard a faint voice from deep within the mine,

singing;

ENGLAND FOR THE WORLD CUP

Snow White fell to her knees and prayed,

'Oh, thank you, God!

 

At least Dopey is still alive.

 

LOVE IT, DEDICATE THIS ONE TO ROLANDhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif

[Guest youngzimmy]

I do not intend to offend anyone

 

Irish Logic

 

 

An American tourist asks an Irish fisherman:

 

"Why do Scuba Divers always fall backwards off their boats into the water?"

 

To which the Irishman replies

 

"If dey fell forwards they'd still be in the fookin' boat."

 

LETS HEAR YOUR JOKES

[Guest youngzimmy]

i think this is suposed to be a pigeon site with that coment i rest my case deary deary me what a mess and this coment is no joke

[sapper756]

i think this is suposed to be a pigeon site with that coment i rest my case deary deary me what a mess and this coment is no joke

 

 

It is a pigeon site, however CHIT CHAT is set up for members to have a bit of banter and funhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif you don,t have to look into chit chat if you don,t want toohttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/sad.gif

[sapper756]

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.

After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."

 

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "It's fart football!"

 

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -

"Touchdown, tie score!"

 

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says -

"Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"

 

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -

"Touchdown, tie score!"

Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -

"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!"

 

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

 

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"

 

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif