chickadee Posted October 23, 2008 Report Posted October 23, 2008 Here are just a few jokes to help put a smile on your face. Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant. ------- ------------------------------------------------------------- Man goes to the docs, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says, 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.' -------------------------------------------------------------------- 'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.' 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.' ----------- -------------------------------------------------------- A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed? ' 'No, because he's really heavy' --------------------------------------------------------------------
chickadee Posted October 23, 2008 Author Report Posted October 23, 2008 jokes not allowed on here :( why not?????
Guest bigda Posted October 23, 2008 Report Posted October 23, 2008 ask jimmy he hates people having a laugh
rembrant2coo Posted October 23, 2008 Report Posted October 23, 2008 ;D ;D ;Dask jimmy he hates people having a laugh ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D your (evil)(evil)(evil)but i like it
chickadee Posted October 23, 2008 Author Report Posted October 23, 2008 and here is another one....... ;D ;D --------------------------------------------------------------------- So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.' ---------------------------------------------------------------------
chickadee Posted October 23, 2008 Author Report Posted October 23, 2008 And here's more --------------------------------------------------------------------- Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. --------------------------------------------------------------------- You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen; it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice. ---------------------------------------------------------------------
carlsberg Posted October 23, 2008 Report Posted October 23, 2008 And here's more --------------------------------------------------------------------- Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. --------------------------------------------------------------------- You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen; it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice. --------------------------------------------------------------------- obviously a woman driver lol :)
chickadee Posted October 23, 2008 Author Report Posted October 23, 2008 obviously a woman driver lol :) Huh!!!!! Cheek. :-/ :-/ ;D ;D
rembrant2coo Posted October 23, 2008 Report Posted October 23, 2008 obviously not a van driver huh ??) ??) ??) ??) ??) ??)
Roland Posted October 23, 2008 Report Posted October 23, 2008 Must find them Harvey Liar jokes again. Was on the Spinky's site, but that sems to have lost out there some how.
chickadee Posted October 23, 2008 Author Report Posted October 23, 2008 there's more..... --------------------------------------------------------------------- I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. --------------------------------------------------------------------
chickadee Posted October 23, 2008 Author Report Posted October 23, 2008 Ha ha ha shouldn't encourage me... --------------------------------------------------------------------- My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. --------------------- ------------------------------------------------ A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel. ---------------------------------------------------------------------
chickadee Posted October 23, 2008 Author Report Posted October 23, 2008 and finally this one.... now you have a reprieve.. ;D ;D ;D --------------------------------------------------------------------- Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. ---------------------------------------------------------------------
harky Posted October 24, 2008 Report Posted October 24, 2008 WAS IN THE PUB THE OTHER NIGHT WHEN I GOT TALKING TO A FEMALE . WHEN I ASKED HER HER NAME SHE REPLIED CARMEN .I SAID WHAT A LOVELY NAME AND SHE REPLIED IT WAS BECAUSE SHE LIKED CARS AND MEN .WHEN SHE ASKED WHAT WAS MY NAME I REPLIED STEWART BEERFANNY
OLDYELLOW Posted October 24, 2008 Report Posted October 24, 2008 im wondering how many ice lollys were ate to read the lollipop sticks ;D ;D ;D
chickadee Posted October 24, 2008 Author Report Posted October 24, 2008 WAS IN THE PUB THE OTHER NIGHT WHEN I GOT TALKING TO A FEMALE . WHEN I ASKED HER HER NAME SHE REPLIED CARMEN .I SAID WHAT A LOVELY NAME AND SHE REPLIED IT WAS BECAUSE SHE LIKED CARS AND MEN .WHEN SHE ASKED WHAT WAS MY NAME I REPLIED STEWART BEERFANNY Ha ha ha ha........ ;D ;D ;D ;D
harky Posted October 24, 2008 Report Posted October 24, 2008 A MAN WALKS INTO A BREAKFAST BAR WITH A FRIED EGG ON HIS HEAD, WHEN ASKED WHY HE HAD A FRIED EGG ON HIS HEAD HE REPLIED , BECAUSE A BOILED ONE KEEPS ROLLING OFF
ALF Posted October 24, 2008 Report Posted October 24, 2008 A MAN WALKS INTO A BREAKFAST BAR WITH A FRIED EGG ON HIS HEAD, WHEN ASKED WHY HE HAD A FRIED EGG ON HIS HEAD HE REPLIED , BECAUSE A BOILED ONE KEEPS ROLLING OFF dont gie up the day job Harky ;D ;D ;D ;D
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