True Friendship...Scottish style
(None of that Sissy sh**)
Are ye tired o those p*ss weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a series o promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see none of those irritating cute wee smiley faces on this card .
Just the stone cold truth o’ a great friendship.
1. When ye are sad -- I will help you get pished and plot revenge against the barsteward who made ye sad.
2. When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.
3. When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When ye are scared -- I will take the p*ss oot o you every chance I get,
until you're NOT.
5. When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP WHINING!
6... When yer confused -- I will try to use only wee words.
7... When ye are sick -- Stay the frig away frae me until ye are well again.
I don't want whatever ye've got.
8... When ye fall, I will laugh my frigin heed aff at you, you clumsy *expletive removed*,
.........but I'll help you up.
9... This is my oath.... I pledge it tae the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
Because you are my friend.
Friendship is like pishing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.