greenlands Posted January 4, 2014 Report Posted January 4, 2014 Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby!?Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
paddymac Posted January 5, 2014 Report Posted January 5, 2014 A 72-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back normal so the doctor says, "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!, the light goes on. When I'm done, poof!, the light goes off.""Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.A little later in the day, the doctor calls Harry's wife. "Mrs. White," he says, "Harry is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?""OH GOOD GRIEF!" Mrs. White exclaims, "He's pissing in the fridge again!"
MIK Posted January 5, 2014 Report Posted January 5, 2014 A 72-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back normal so the doctor says, "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!, the light goes on. When I'm done, poof!, the light goes off.""Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.A little later in the day, the doctor calls Harry's wife. "Mrs. White," he says, "Harry is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?""OH GOOD GRIEF!" Mrs. White exclaims, "He's pissing in the fridge again!" vg Pat :emoticon-0137-clapping: Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby!?Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants. :emoticon-0136-giggle:
gulkie Posted January 5, 2014 Report Posted January 5, 2014 Daughter says to her mum an dad I notice that the 2 of you are getting very forgetful I suggest that when yous want to do something write it down ,so later the wife said to her hubby I could go some ice cream write it down man said I'm only going to the kitchen ,she said but I want strawberries to better write it down and I want crushed nuts to write it down hubby said I won't forget ,he's gone half an hour and comes back with bacon an eggs ,an she said where's my toast.
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