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  • 2 weeks later...
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Posted

You've got to be so bloody careful what you say to people these days. A

Muslim bloke I work with was bragging that he had the entire Koran on DVD.

I only asked him to burn me a copy and the whole place kicked off!

Posted

A SHORT ROBOT STORY;

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that day.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork."

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch ?"

Son says, "Toy Story."

The robot slaps the son.

Son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."

Dad says,"What ? At your age I didn't even know what porn was ."

The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says,"Well he certainly is your son ."

The robot slaps the mother .

The Robot is now for sale.

 

THE END..........

Posted

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Parents Drink

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? '

 

 

 

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

 

' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?'

 

The child whispered, ' No .'

 

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' ' Yes '

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No '

 

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

 

 

' Yes , ' whispered the child, ' a policeman . '

 

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

 

' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.

 

'Busy doing what?'

 

' Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer..

 

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

 

' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

 

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered,

 

' The search team just landed a helicopter '

 

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

 

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

 

' ME .

Posted

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next bowel movement could spell disaster.http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/wacko.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/wacko.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif

Guest geordiejen
Posted

wife tries on a new dress and says do i look nice in this

husband says you know your the double of sheryl cole!!

wife says oh really!!

husband says aye shes 8 stone and your 16 stone ya fat rat!!

Posted

FIRST CHRISTMAS JOKE..http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/santa-dance.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/santa-dance.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/santa-dance.gif

 

3 men die on Christmas eve, to get into heaven St Peter says "you must have something on you that represents Christmas" the Englishman flicks on his lighter and says "it's a candle", St Peter lets him pass, the Welsh man jingles his keys and says "they're sleigh bells", St Peter lets him pass, the Irish man pulls out a G String and bra, St Peter says "how do they represent Christmas?"... Paddy says "they're Carols

  • 5 weeks later...
Posted

Strathclyde Police have finally released the name of the terrorist who set himself on fire after crashing his vehicle at glasgow airport

Singed Rammin Ma Jeepin

Posted

a man with avery bad stutter asks a woman if she would go out on adate with him the woman says yes feeling very pleased with him self he takes her to his loacal pub where he is very well known to imprese her as soon as he walks in the pub the barman shouts yer usull donkey and starts pulling apint of lager and what about youre young lady donkey what would she like the woman says vodka coke please nae bother says the bar man that will be five pound donkey ma man the couple lift there drinks and sit down the woman leans over and says that bar man keeps calling you donkey is it because youre a big boy ach says the guy he he he aw he he he aw he he he allways calls me that

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
http://sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/543855_163049283842093_1816042192_n.jpghttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/scotland.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/scotland.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/scotland.gif
Guest geordiejen
Posted

man goes to the doctor and says

doctor every time i sneeze i get an erection,

doctor says are you taking anything for it?

man says aye!!!pepper.

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