ghostrider

Been trying to find a Courier,loft 2 loft no joy,and a few others all unobtainable This is becoming a Nightmare...need one ASAP to bring a bird from the above down to Notts!!

Went missing from first race Anyone help?

A man notices a small boy wearing a fireman’s hat, sitting in a cart being pulled by his pet dog. When he gets closer he notices that the cart is tied to the dog’s testicles. ‘That’s a nice fire engine,’ says the man. ‘But wouldn’t the dog pull faster if you tied the rope to his collar?’ ‘Yes,’ says the boy. ‘But then I wouldn’t have a siren.’

I was telling my mate about my wife getting a job scaring ghosts out of haunted houses. "How does she get rid of them, by seance or something?" he asked. "Nope," I replied, "she just walks around the house naked." Haha Atb

While visiting an old and spooky country house, a lady confided in the guide that she was terrified of ghosts and dreaded meeting one on the tour. To reassure her, the guide informed her that in all the years he had worked at the house, he had never seen a single ghost. "And how long have you worked here?" asked the woman. "Three hundred years."

A man leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 20 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him a short distance, were about 200 men walking in single file. The man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said: “I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?†“My wife’s.†â€What happened to her?†“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.â€He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?†The man answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her as well.†A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men. Can I borrow the dog asked the man?" Sorry but u will have to get in line😈!!

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they Hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!†Neighbours feared him. They believed he practiced magic because of the many strange Occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone’s relief, He died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the funeral. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to Party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked “Aren’t you afraid that He may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt You for the rest of your life?†The wife put down her drink and said, “Let him dig. I had him buried Upside down. And I know he won’t ask for directions.â€

Home is were the heart is... I once got a van loon grizzle hen in,she would not go,and tame,reported her,owner wasn't interested So she stopped,crossed her with a soontjen cock,bred some decent offspring. On another occasion a blue hen from near Hull dropped in from a race,with my youngsters one day She went Straight into a hen box in the garage for a week,got intouch with the owner,he could not afford to send for her,as luck would have it my wife and I were going up to hull to see some relations. 14 days later took bird out of the henbox,into a carrying box,into the motor,m1,m18,m62..98 miles later stopped for a coffee on the outskirts off Hull,realised the hen,cleared fine.As her owner lofts were located a couple of miles away!! Spent all day there..arrived back home around 8.30 that summers evening,parked car in the driveway First thing I did on return was to let my dog out and check the birds. To my astonishment the blue hen was sat waiting on the veranda outside my loft!!! None worse the wear after a 98 miler

An alien landed in London and was questioned by the military, "What do you want?" Asked the general, "just the same as every other alien," he replied, "housing, benefits, medical care, laws passed so no one dare upset me, and my family to join me as soon as possible

Nice offer. Also it's nice to give back!!

All back

Blandford 160 miles...13/15,libbed 9.30,clocked 12.41 ...nw wind. Atb

Why live with pigeons? There's danger you know, Can't adopt just one, the craving will grow. There's no doubt they're addictive, wherein lies the danger, While living with lots, you'll grow poorer (and stranger?). One pigeon is so funny, and two are no trouble, The more, the merrier, they're all so delightful. The third is a honey, the fourth one's a breeze, You can live in a house full, with the greatest of ease. So how 'bout another -- or two if you must? They're really quite easy, but oh Lord, the dust. With pigeons on furniture, and pigeons in bed, And their toys and things, "It's no bother," you've said. So, invite some more pigeons, you can always find room, And a little more time, for the dust cloth and broom. There's hardly a limit, to the pigeons you add, The thought of a cutback, sure makes you sad. Each one is so special, so unique and so funny, Food and care bills grow larger, you spend much more money. Your folks never visit, few friends come to stay, Except other bird folks, who live the same way. Is it worth it you wonder? Are you caught in a trap? Then your pigeon pals fly over, and into your lap. Their coos say your special, and you know that you will, Keep your feathered friends, in spite of the bill.

Blanford..160 miles sending 15.

A chicken farmer went to a local bar... sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence," the farmer says, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating." "This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!" says the woman. "What a coincidence" says the man. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I'm pregnant!" "What a coincidence," says the man ..."I'm a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different cock," he replied. The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"

Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide. One says to the other, "I'm sorry - I was looking for my wife." "What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm getting a little desperate." "Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?" "She's tall, with long hair, long legs, firm boobs and a tight ass. What's your wife look like?" "Never mind, let's look for yours!"

Release a couple of Eagle Owls,Gulls etc will soon get the message! If that doesn't work bring out the barking irons...No 4 shot

Just had a bird reported ( youngster ) found torn to bits by another fancier taking his dog for a walk Another one last week mauled ....tail feathers missing,etc I'm lucky,my mate has lost over 50 youngsters either off the top of the loft,or when training (all wing stamped ) Only 2/3 reported upto now Others Friends have also Had many birds go missing up and down the country. And the seasons not over yet Rpra,+ Mention no names!!...know the Hell we are going through with our sport,but don't give A SH*T

Suppose that's why doctors are not handing out Antibiotics now wllie nilly After they found traces of it in our drinking water,also on the news abit back Along with some other nasties in different area's of the country

> Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman > in the shadows. > Twenty quid " she whispers. He'd never been with a > hooker before, but he decides what the heck, its only > twenty quid. So they hide in the bushes. They're > going "at it" for a couple of minutes when all of a > sudden a light flashes on them, it's a police officer. > "What's going on here, people?" asks the officer. > "I'm making love to my wife," Paddy answers > indignantly. > "Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know." > "Well," Paddy says, "neither did I, until you shined > that light in her face.

Few years ago I bought a 4x2 tank,power head..every thing brand new,including water tablets to take all the crap Out of the tap water, chlorine etc Bought to clown loaches,2 angel fish,and a few others,they all went belly up within a couple of days! Not long after.... It was a mate of my brothers ( who had tropical/and marine aquariums )who told me to go around to his place and collect a bag of Bactria,from his tank,and to let it build up for a couple of weeks,then introduce a couple of fish at a time,after that all was ok Suppose it all down to your water provider

1. Do you know how the Grand Canyon was formed ? A Scot dropped a penny in a golf hole. 2. Give an example for perpetual motion. A Scot running after a jew. 3. It was a hot summer afternoon, and all the scots were pursuing their favourite hobby - drinking whiskey in the pub. Suddenly, the door bursts open, and a man comes in panting, his tongue lolling and totally black in colour. " What happened , Mac?", inquired one of the regulars." Well, a bottle of whiskey fell on the hot tar road. " said Mac.

OMG! Those were cute! Here's one for you... Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai. "Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two! "What a feat!? said the Emperor. "Number Two Samurai, show me what you do." The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered. "That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?" Number Three Samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around! In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead." "Dead, schmead," replied the Jewish Samurai. "Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!!!."

Why do Jews like to watch pornos in reverse? They like the part when the hooker gives the money back. Whats the difference between karate & judo? Karate is a form of martial art, judo is what jewish bakers use to make bagels.