Littel Things Don't Matter

Roland · July 5, 2015

As You Mature, It's The Little Things That Don't Seem To Matter As Much As They used To!

This chick looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Lager or Beer?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, "Go on then - try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday."

I got caught taking a p*ss in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

I went to the pub last night and saw an obese chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs." She giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."