Xmas Jokes

[sapper756]

Here is one for starters

 

http://sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/303884_482362311806439_17501925_n.jpg

[greenlands]

A couple were Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and the whole place was heaving, packed with other last minute shoppers.

 

Walking through the shopping centre the surprised wife looked up from a window display and noticed her husband was nowhere to be seen.

She knew they had lots still to do and she became very upset.

 

She rummaged in her handbag and found her mobile phoned then used it to call her husband to ask him where he was.

 

The husband in a calm voice replied: "Darling, you remember the jewellery shop we went into five years ago,

where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that one day I would get it for you...?"

 

His wife's eyes filled with tears of emotion, she began to cry softly and stifling a sob she whispered:"Yes, I remember that jewellery shop..."

.

 

 

.

"Well," he said, "I'm in the pub next to it!"

[lanarkshire lad]

Christmas day will be much the same for me sitting around the table with a plump bird that disnae gobble anymore.

[sapper756]

http://sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/576503_499795710054394_2089542886_n.jpg

[THE FIFER]

http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0137-clapping.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0137-clapping.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0137-clapping.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0137-clapping.gif

[bombersbullets]

im looking for a film star that stared in over 100 films in the same coat every film??LASSIE pmsl its not a xmas 1 but herd it in the pub the other night had to share :emoticon-0140-rofl:

[sapper756]

http://sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/3867_381308261961456_545183605_n.jpg