Vasoline Eh!

[Roland]

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

 

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in absolute mint condition.

 

He immediately buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

 

'Well, it's quite simple really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' (true story)

 

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

 

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

 

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

 

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

 

'No problem,' he says.. and in they go.

 

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

 

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks... dirty dishes.

 

They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

 

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

 

No one says a word.

 

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

 

Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents.

 

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

 

He looks at her mom..

 

'She's got a great body,' he thinks.

 

So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.

 

After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again.

 

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is pleasantly beaming..

But still.... total silence.

 

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

 

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...

 

Suddenly the father shouted....

 

'Alright, alright I'll do the dishes!!'

[sammy]

good wan rolly :emoticon-0136-giggle: :emoticon-0136-giggle:

[cemetary]

 

Well done Roland 10/10 mate, still laughing yet,

[sammy]

an old farmer wrote to his son in prison. "this year i wont be able to plant potatoes because i cant dig the ground, i know if you were here you would help me." The son worte back, " dad dont think of digging the ground because thats where i burried the gun's." Police read the letter the very next day the whole ground was dug by police looking for the guns but nothing was found. the next day the son wrote again. "Now plant your potatoes Dad, its the best i could do from here

[cemetary]

an old farmer wrote to his son in prison. "this year i wont be able to plant potatoes because i cant dig the ground, i know if you were here you would help me." The son worte back, " dad dont think of digging the ground because thats where i burried the gun's." Police read the letter the very next day the whole ground was dug by police looking for the guns but nothing was found. the next day the son wrote again. "Now plant your potatoes Dad, its the best i could do from here

 

 

Sammy thats pesh, but iw ill gee you 5/10

[just ask me]

Sammy thats pesh, but iw ill gee you 5/10

 

 

 

cemetary basics own simon cowell :emoticon-0140-rofl:

[cemetary]

cemetary basics own simon cowell :emoticon-0140-rofl:

 

 

You must be making money oot owe me ya Trumpet, thats awe a got at the club last night.

[just ask me]

You must be making money oot owe me ya Trumpet, thats awe a got at the club last night.

hard to make money out of you i hear you have a argument with yourself after a few drinks on how much you owe yourself lol :emoticon-0136-giggle:

[sammy]

hard to make money out of you i hear you have a argument with yourself after a few drinks on how much you owe yourself lol :emoticon-0136-giggle:

heard he is that tight he has no pockets

[just ask me]

heard he is that tight he has no pockets

 

 

he did have but got them sown up :emoticon-0136-giggle: