Roland

Louella, of course. Albert is still frequenting the Pigeon Chat / Pippa sites.

Jak Jak, I need some bringing back too from Scotland. If you get fixed up mention me and he could bring mine back after delivery / or picking up yours.

Yep .... could have said Wire Mesh lol.

http://www.countrystoredirect.com/acatalog/Electric_Fencing.html?gclid=CIW7sYiPtZ4CFSBk4wods2NgEQ First class. very prompt delivery. £50 - £70 and £6 a year to run. Phone them or Email them and they are very buisness like and helpful. Yes never say never Carol.... Mind if thay come back they get another shock lol. ;D ;D ;D

"When I were a lad, Momma would send me down to the corner store with a dollar, and I'd come back with five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf a dozen eggs. Yer can't do that now. Too many damm security cameras."

Never works. Tried it like many others. Besides when a cat stalks it moves so slow and methedical that the bells don't even move. Certainly nowhere near enough to ring and that's fer sure. Electric fence :-/ Oh yes and THAT does work. Works every time. Never had one come back to try again yet ;D ;D

BEST OF 2009 NS 6th Place It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. 'What are my choices?' the man asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. 5th Place A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.' 4th place A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.' 3rd Place The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said. The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. 2nd Place A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, “Got stuck, eh?†The lorry driver said, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!†SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009 A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. “Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!†A smart-arsed guy at the back of the raised his hand and asked, “What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?†The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said: 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.

Wal Mart Applicant revealed... Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California . They hired him because he was funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old *expletive removed*) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment . MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?' HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FI VE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. ***Old People Rock! ***

http://fightfan.com/2009/11/lucian-bute-violently-knocks-out-andrade-in-four/

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behaviour. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them. Two lessons here: 1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks

Welcome

Yes, I also feel that a Dead Line of say 10 O'clock could, and maybe should, be followed and thereafter if bidding is still rife a laspe of 10 minutes after THE last Bid after 10 O'clock deadline to ensure that any one really interested hasn't been up ended by a last ditch effort by someone, who places a bid with 5 seconds to go leaving of course all other bidders no chance, and the seller being short of a few quiddies. Yes a flurry would be good all round I think. Have sat and watch my bid being dormant for a few days.... then having the my highest quasumped by a last second bid leaving me, and likewise others, like many others in fact this has happened to, no chance to raise my / their bid. But a ten minute 'Laspe after the LAST bid would ensure a fairer, better ending for everyone involved.

Why .....do Tesco's make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Why .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Why ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Why ......do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Why . .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Some have done the rounds but .... ;D ;D

Only fools / gullible really try to convince others WIND makes no difference. Simple equation and realism that.... Oh O.K. and Brain Dead' ones also lol ;D

Must say Our Duncans nipping in here and there picking up a few bargains. Good on yer mucker.

Try over £800 million. About £200 million more than what the Glaciers are supposed to have paid for it. ;D

"Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher says. Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy. After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?" Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't 'til next Wednesday."

Be quiet you lol We gave them a real scare and could / should have won. Ok doubt if we will win away from home of course, but will get another few quiddies in the coffers. Man U are praying of course for a Leeds Victory, but Think Man U would be running scared if we get through lol. As for Fergie signings ... Time he signed of lol. ;D

Just back Joyce and I from a great show. Yres getting on in his early 70's but... We had a good ole sing song, clapping and stamping feet lol. Comes across as a very genuine down to earth sort even though a Multimillionaire.

Sad for a member to feel that way, and that's for sure. I often think it may well come a time when Guests aren't allowed to look in. Read, or reply. But have to sign up as a member as most are 0n here. Just a curteous opening stating Behavior, aims and goals and wants of achievements etc. No want stop Master Bates and his cronies.... but may well cut out future members of his family. :-/ Good luck Shadow.

Well those Fancier B...pdf Fancier B...docx Worked for me. Send me your Email addies and I'll forward it for you if you wish. And any one else for that mater.

What sort of price are you ready to accept. Or thought you'd be getting for them :-/ Must be worth a punt these hens surely. Mick Betts is no slouch and that's for sure.

Fancier B...docx (117.6 KB), Fancier B...pdf (42.4 KB) ----- Original Message ----- From: Subject: Pigeon Breeder Record Card Template These templates were sent to me by a friend of John Beardmore, a friend of his in the USA. Pass them along to your clubmates if you like as it's not as bad idea for the loft and your record books. Hi All, As many of you can attest, I keep meticulous records of my birds. I spent some time on the PC and drafted a simple Breeding Record Card Template that I think is handy for this purpose. Attached are two formats, MS Word and Adobe PDF. With the MS Word version you can edit it and tailor to your liking, e.g., “Loft Nameâ€. But sometimes when you send attachments and the recipient doesn’t have the same application or version, some of the formatting gets messed up. That’s where the PDF version might be better, but it’s not editable. Both are configured to print on both sides (if you set your printer to such). Cut it down the middle and you can get 2 forms per page, per side. I just use a good 8-1/2 x 11 construction card material in my printer so it can withstand the rigors of being in & around the loft. I keep one master card for each pair in a 3-ring binder and another ‘replaceable’ one at each nest box. For me this is invaluable as you switch eggs and/or youngsters from nest to nest. Best regards & wishes for next season, John

http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/cspanjunkie/amazing-2-year-old-golf-prodigy Smart Ass Then there was... Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.' No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked "What are you sellin' here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes." Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You're doing well. Only two left." Seniors - don't mess with them ! Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. Titanic:.... Cost - $29.99 Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99 Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read Clinton :..... Over 3 hours to read Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton :... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Titanic:.... Jack is a starving artist. Clinton :..... Bill is a bullshit artist. Titanic:.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton :.... Ditto for Bill. Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica. Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton :... Let's not go there. Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry. Clinton :.... Monica' s forced to return her gifts. Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. Clinton :..... Clinton doesn't remember jack. Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.. Clinton :...... Monica.. ooh, let's not go there, either.. Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing

Anyway, it has make Bigda very quiet to say the least lol .... ;D ;D