Roland

The difference if you marry an English girl. The first man married a woman from Glasgow. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a woman from Dublin. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from England. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

Good post IB.

Just get on with it. As long as it's not above a certain height (8ft or is it 12 but either way 8 feet is move than 98% of lofts I'd wager), length and is away from the house by a few metres nowt can or will be done. Even a Resident's Association, or pre - planned laws are not enforcible. Likewisse it would be against you rights to not give permission.

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex I probably don't have to ask you to forward this one.

Also I believe 'Old Yellows' take all the beating. Think some are same families as Kevs. Might be wrong.... a first time for everythink I guess lol ;D ;D

Be back Gary, no two ways about that. I'd think they were scared or scattered first. They can home in Mist or fog, especially if they can get about it. I let mine up when training in either in the race season. Mind that won't stop you fretting and being peeved to say the least. Good luck.

Yes it is a Hen matey. Was just Jesting. ;D ;D

Know he is having to have a new loft put up :-/

Wheres Albear? :-/ Haven't seen him of late on here. May be me, but was interested in what birds he was putting up for sale. :-/ But I hope he is O.K. more than that!

Now now, stead up lads lol ;D ;D. Am looking as to what Cockbird wise there maybe. I am a mite short of cockbirds.

Norman Wisdom was an Army Featherwieght champ. Was really rated. Lionel Blair is repute to be no slouch. Was rated very highly - believe it believe it not - and very much a 'Hard Case' who was very handy with his 'Dukes'! I'd say for his statues he'd have been very fast handed.

Put them on a Rota so everyone has to take their turn. If they can't for some reason make it on their night, they can SWAP with the ones who are down the WEEK BEFORE. When president I once went into the bar - where the usual mobbs were battling to tell the best lies and do nowt - and got myself a drink. The usual workers were with me and we were asked if 'all was done, and what time striking off' etc. I replied, 'Well ours are, and if yourn aren't withing the next quater of an hour we will be going with out them'! Took 5 minutes for the coin to drop, but they did it ... Then the ones that never shut up talking whether your marling or what. So I said simply, 'If you spent a quarter of your energy helping to get the birds through as spouting rubbish, we could all be finished and have a drink in our hands'! I was voted of the committee via them lol. Likewise when I kicked his gobby missis out of our AGM meeting! Laying the law to this that and the other was she, then told ME - lol - to put her copy of HER minutes down and get my own COPY! ....' I open the door and asked if she was walking out under her' own steam, or did she need my boot to help her out#! I also told him a few home truths, and that she had no right to even be there as she wasn't even a member. They both left - with the ugly gobby daughter and threathen to resigned. I walked out after them and caame back with it in writing lol. Came back 2 years later. Told him a few same own truth about him still rabbiting and doing nowt ... he fortunately has left again.

What rest ? :-/ :-/ ;D ;D ;D

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ 1) 116 years 2) Ecuador 3) Sheep and Horses 4) November 5) Squirrel fur 6) Dogs 7) Albert 8) Crimson 9) New Zealand 10) Orange

Anyone bored with winter and want to try answering them.... I will post the answers tomorrow. Good Luck. New High School Exit Exam, you only need 4 correct to pass.. (Passing requires 4 correct answers) 1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 2) Which country makes Panama hats? 3) From which animal do we get cat gut? 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 7) What was King George VI's first name? 8) What color is a purple finch? 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? 10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.

Upper/Lower Mgmt A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am." The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "how did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip." The woman below responded, "You must be in Management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault." Number One Idiot of 2008 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Two Idiot of 2008 Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Three Idiot of 2008 A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Four Idiot of 2008 A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Five of 2008 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Six of 2008 Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Seven of 2008 I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega, Wisconsin). We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

Yep I think your right at that... Come to think of it you must be if you have the Video lol ;D ;D

Also fought Kirkland laing for the British welterwieght title believe. Tough nut and great puncher was Colin. I

Lol

Boxed for Clifton as an Amatuer, with the Polacks, Crays,Kennerdales. Was a rough area / club lol. He beat Robert Duran! And this was way before Roberto was in his twilight years. Never knew which Kirkland would turn up. Was either brilliat and out this world, or... Just turn up. He hd a few problems outside the ring. May be able to get a contact number etc. to put you in touch Strapper. But has been a few years back, will ask though for you. Indeed will phone a couple that may have his details.

If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends. Only great mindscan read this this is weird, but interesting! Have post similar before I know. fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and early 70's ! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer. Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos. Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death! We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because...... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY , no video/dvd films, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents. Only girls had pierced ears! We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time... We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays, We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet! RUGBY and CRICKET had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and bully's always ruled the playground at school. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla' We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL ! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were. PS -The big type is because your eyes are not too good at your age anymore

Ken Buchanan beat Muarice Cullen for the British Title and won the world title which he lost - narrowly - on points to Duran. Yes was very unlucky because if he'd fought anywhere else he would have won the fight. Indeed Duran would have been disqualied most likelyy else where. Tommy Farr, great Fought Louis to the line in his world title fight.

Saves me repeating. So sorry.