greenlands

Happy birthday,

Good luck Sue,very fresh over here on the West coast.

Remember my late father and a lot of the old timers used to give half a teaspoon each of epsom salts and bi-carb to a drinker on a Thursday if the birds weren't exercising too well.The bi-carb had hot water poured on it before mixing. :emoticon-0138-thinking:

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request. A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord . Amazed that this guy knows about Stevie's varied career, Stevie starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord". A bit pissed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise. The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play A jazz chord". Well and truly pissed off that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smart ass. You get up here and do it !" The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the Mike and starts to sing . " A jazz chord to say I ruv you ."Stevi

Good morning

Happy birthday

Happy birthday

Good morning

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Had to pass this on,off FB. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realised that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white patriarchal society . "In fact", he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society". After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery", asked the couple? "Because I am the artist, who painted the picture", he replied, "In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch"

Good morning

Good morning

Happy birthday

Good morning

Happy birthday

Long way from home John. 44741 – 44780 WE346 SOUTH WEST CHESHIRE FEDERATION Mr A E Austin, 258 Station Road, Winsford, Cheshire CW7 3DG. Tel: 01606 559669

Happy birthday

Good morning

Good morning

Happy birthday

They probably don't race pigeons dunc.

Depends on your income,state pension isn't all its made out to be.

That's a poor opinion of older people who might be in need of help.

Most people don't know about this but it's there if you qualify. Winter's on its way,bit of rag this mo. and it won't be long till you'll be putting the heating on and watching the meter going round,yes it is bloody dear. Have a look at this link and see if you qualify for £140,yes £140 free. I'll have a bottle of Grouse if you're successful :emoticon-0136-giggle: https://www.britishgas.co.uk/products-and-services/gas-and-electricity/the-warm-home-discount.html

Happy birthday

Good morning Good morning