greenlands

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Good morning

Happy Birthday

A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he smoothed it down 3 times, then he frowned. Then he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest with 6 staples..... Dead silence... The rest of the year went very smoothly.

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A tough old sheep farmer from the Scottish Highlands gave some advice to his granddaughter back at the start of the Great War in 1914. He told her that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder onto her breakfast porridge every morning. The grand daughter followed this dictum religiously until her death at the venerable age of 109. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren and a 20 yard hole where the crematorium used to be.

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her pupils put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling, and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. Unfortunately, it wasn't any easier pulling the boots off, than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet. He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.' She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?' as she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they got the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. But my Mom made me wear 'em today.' Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots BACK onto his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?' He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

Welcome to Basics mate and good luck with your search.

And so will 99.9% of the pigeon world.

It a belter at the mo pal,the odd one or two clouds but a lot colder as the winds turned to the NE.

I'm one of those in the mismanagement category Del,get it every season and try something different every season,get the odd one or two holding corn,never bad enough to be sick to the extent of being a perch full but it goes through the loft at one degree or the other,some appear to have missed but IMO they are not right in the head ?? Two or three days on a very light diet fed several ties a day,probably not feed them at all for the first two days.I sit with my youngens when I feed them and watch to see how fast the eat any that's fussy are suspect.Seems to start when they do something out of the ordinary the previous day or two,flying longer than usual,odd on landing on the house roof,all suspect.JMO.

Looking very clear,cool morning.

Hi Del,I would have thought letting birds eat regurgitated food would only pass on a secondary problem rather than a virus,that's why I like using pellets at such a time,easy on the digestive system and nothing to eat should they throw it back up.??

Good morning.

Bitter stimulant powder John ??

If I can help Ian give me a shout.

Happy birthday

Good morning

What's yan er them Ian. ? How much does a statistician earn in the UK? Starting salaries for assistant statisticians can be between £20,000 and £27,000 a year. With experience and qualifications this can rise to around £40,000 to £53,000 a year. Chief statisticians can earn up to £70,000 a year.

Happy birthday.

Good morning

Anyone in the area that make/repairs conservatories ??

WELCOME to 2016 � Our Phones - Wireless � Cooking - Fireless � Cars - Keyless � Food - Fatless � Tires -Tubeless � Dress - Sleeveless � Youth - Jobless � Leaders - Shameless � Relationships - Meaningless � Attitudes - Careless � Babies - Fatherless � Feelings - Heartless � Education - Valueless � Children - Mannerless � Country - Godless We are-SPEECHLESS, Government-is CLUELESS, And our Politicians-are WORTHLESS!

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