Fife_pigeon_wife

Oh no i cant do that. they are very nice gentlemen and dont like to upset anyone, they just like keeping themselves to themselves. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

thanks guys. oh and bigbaws your spot on mate lol

i put a letter of resignation in to my secretary, after roughly a week or so later ive changed my mind i;ll just stay put.(club has not had agm yet ) so i phoned my secretary and asked him to " bin the letter " he informed me that i cannot withdraw my letter , what he said was i have to put another letter in to join. so he'll read out the resignation then read out the application. is this right?

Good on u Ian. Well done mate.

my boss is a miser. we all asked if we could close the cafe where i work so we could go out and have a snowball fight and make angels. she said " no " is that no sad ;D

Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings & then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Indicating gives away your next move. A real Fife driver never indicates. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you & the car in front.. somebody else may try & fill it. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit! Braking's to be done as hard & as late as possible to ensure your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.. learn to swerve abruptly. Fife's the home of High-Speed Slalom Driving thanks to Fife Council, who put potholes in key locations to test drivers reflexes & keep them on their toes. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right & left before proceeding! Real Fife women drivers can put on a pair of tights & apply mascara on the outside lane of Queensferry Rd at 50 mph in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Real Fife male drivers can remove tights & a bra on the outside lane of Queensferry Rd at 50mph in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Heavy fog , rain & snow are no reasons to drive UNDER the speed limits. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring that Dod's Garage in Kincorth has plenty of work all year round. There's a common held belief in Fife that highspeed tailgating in heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the slipstream of the car in front! Look out for cars with 'Kids on Board' signs on the rear window, entertain the kiddies by baring your ass & driving up so close to the car you see the whites of the kids eyes. Don't worry how scared the kids look.. it's only a game!! Always anticipate oncoming traffic while driving down a one way street! Drive illegally in all of our many bus lanes. It's ok when driving in Fife to air your grievances at bad drivers by giving the "one finger salute" while screaming out "*expletive removed*". But it's imperative you're driving at least a 5 litre V8 with a crowbar in your lap

when i married Mr. Wright i didn't realise his real first name was Always

read all about you on the lavy wall frank lol. :)

can my partner and myself send 2 each. flying to the same loft?

mmmmmm interesting, ive never heard HIS pigeon crap going " cheep" or anything else as it happens. :) :) :) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

just read this post. what was the outcome of this ? that was very good of krankin .

if u vacc them b4 the y/bs then there covered for racing o/bs next year

Are u looking 4 a divorce lol ;D

put a runner at the bottom

grrrrrrrrrr lol no way my dear

they also say " behind every BIATCH , there a man that made her that way " lmao

So what time will i expect you then harky? lol :)

All the very vvery best Archie. (ok)

im no a memeber o any fed cem, im a pigeon widow lol. just keeping up wi the goss so i ken what these two daftys are talking aboot. pmsl.

WHY IS ALL QUIET...what happened at the meeting then.

Mike and his son where at our house on Thurs night picking up 5 doos for mark. we invited him in for a cuppa and i have to agree he is a very nice and pleasant chap ( and funny ) he has a wicked sense of humour. we would definatly recomend them..

im goin tae " mahamildaeme" its in the costa del rosyth, anyone been before? lol

lol