Guest TAMMY_1 Posted March 5, 2013 Report Posted March 5, 2013 Cornish 3 Kick Rule An English lawyer went duck hunting in Truro . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in England and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Cornwall. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." (I love this part) The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
Guest lambrechts31 Posted March 5, 2013 Report Posted March 5, 2013 Nice 1 :emoticon-0136-giggle: :emoticon-0136-giggle:
buster151 Posted March 5, 2013 Report Posted March 5, 2013 :emoticon-0137-clapping: :emoticon-0140-rofl:
Guest bigda Posted March 5, 2013 Report Posted March 5, 2013 heard one with a top glasgow lawyer, he was in the sheriff court with his client, when the judge ask the ned. Judge Asks Mr smith way where you on the night of the fightat my pals house, Judge" and why were you there, NED a was there for a tap JUDGE "what Ned's lawyer your HONNOR he was there to borrow money asks for a tap like ask for money, OH I SEE, THE NED SHOUTS naw a wisney, lawyer he says he was not there for money, JUDGE why where you there then Mr SMITH NED a told you a was there for a tap, Judge a sink tap then, " naw a Rangers tap YA DAFTY
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