Darwin Awards

[Roland]

 

LIFE IS ABOUT LIVING....IT IS BY FAR THE MOST VALUABLE ASSET WE AS hUMANS HAVE ....ENGAGE AND ENJOY IT NOW....FOR JUST AS TOMORROW ISNT PROMISED....NEITHER IS THE NEXT MINUTE

 

Here is how some guys ended the year It's that time again... The Darwin Awards are finally out, the annual  honour given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by  killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

 

Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which  toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.

This year's winner was a real rocket scientist... HONESTLY! Read on...And  remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY!!!

 

And the nominees were:

 

Semifinalist #1

A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,  because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with  milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into  the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his

house down, killing both him and his sister.

 

Semifinalist #2

 

Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when

another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the

occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and

crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around

their ankles.

 

 

Semifinalist #3

A 22-year-old Reston , VA , man was found dead after he tried to use

octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax

County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these

straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to

the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren

Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone

because his car was found nearby. 'The length of the cord that he had

assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the

ground,' Carmichael said. Police say the

apparent cause of death was 'Major trauma.'

 

Semifinalist #4

A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a

friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The

friend -no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized.

 

Semifinalist #5

Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a

gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all

potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had

been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon

entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the

dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later

described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and

retrieving an object that

resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object,

the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles

away.

Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually

untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast

had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.

 

And Now, for the winner of this year's Darwin Award:

 

(As always, awarded posthumously):

 

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded

in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The

wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The

type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally

pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist... Had somehow

gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel

rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra

'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy

Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He

attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped

in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

 

The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the

1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0

miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and

melted asphalt at that location.

 

The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within

5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess

of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20 -25 seconds.

 

The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces

usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners,

causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event.

However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5

miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the

brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road

surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting

the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet

deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable.

 

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed

of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on

the ground.

 

 

You just couldn't make this stuff up, could you?

 

 

PEOPLE JUST LIKE THIS ARE STILL ALL AROUND US,

 

 

AND THEY ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE AND REPRODUCE!!

 

 

[Blue Chequer Pied]

I wonder how many of these thrill seekers evr thought about keeping racing pigeons. Quite incredible !  :'( :'( :'(

[BLACK W F]

top answer Paul

[gangster]

I wonder how many of these thrill seekers evr thought about keeping racing pigeons. Quite incredible !  :'( :'( :'(

 

   ME... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Blue Chequer Pied]

 

   ME... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

 

Mick I would never think of you strapping a massive rocket to your car and taking off up the road to see fast it would go, mind you mooning a passing plane whilst in control of another one...... well maybe ! ;D ;D ;D

 

Paul.

[gangster]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.....roland never fails to come up with top stuff.....

[Roland]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.....roland never fails to come up with top stuff.....

 

Thanks