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sapper756
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One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown,in the Scottish highlands which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....

I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people don't call me 'Angus the bridge builder' not here. No, no, they don't!"

I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people won't call me 'Angus the house builder' not here. No, no they don't!"

"I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. But people don't call me 'Angus the tavern builder' either. They sure won't!"

"But I screw one sheep......."http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gif

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Guest Dorset-lad

A man goes to bed & reaches over to his wife. He starts sliding his hand slowly across her back, shoulders, then down her side just glancing her breasts then carries on down her side and legs. He slides her legs apart and slowly runs his hand up and down her inner thigh. He moves back towards the top and stops. His wife opens her eyes and gasps.. "Why did you stop?" He says "Found the remote -go back to sleep :emoticon-0136-giggle:

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a scotsman and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in jerusalem when the wife died suddenly . the undertaker said it will cost you £5000 to ship her home and bury her or £50 to bury her here . the husband said ship her home . the undertaker said but sir why not bury her in the holy land and save the money " the husband said " listen here pal a long long time ago a man called jesus was buried here & 3 days later he rose from the dead ....she's going home!

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I thought my wife was joking when she said that Davy Jones from The Monkees was dead.

 

Then I saw her face.

 

Now I'm a believer.http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gif

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was saying to the missus last night..'Just so that you know that If I end up in a vegetative state where I'm dependant on a machine and fluids from a bottle just pull the plug'.......... The *expletive removed* unplugged the television and took all my beer away

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A man walks into Ann Summers to purchase some see-through lingerie for his wife.

 

He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price.

 

He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home.

 

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

 

Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an idea. It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on - I'll do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow, get a £150 refund and keep the money for myself'.

 

So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose.

 

The husband says; 'Stone me, it wasn't that creased in the shop'.

 

His funeral is next Thursday.

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A man walks into Ann Summers to purchase some see-through lingerie for his wife.

 

He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price.

 

He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home.

 

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

 

Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an idea. It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on - I'll do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow, get a £150 refund and keep the money for myself'.

 

So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose.

 

The husband says; 'Stone me, it wasn't that creased in the shop'.

 

His funeral is next Thursday.

 

http://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0136-giggle.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0137-clapping.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0137-clapping.gifhttp://forum.pigeonbasics.org/public/style_emoticons/default/emoticon-0137-clapping.gif

 

 

 

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