Jewish And Italian Grandparents

[Roland]

T H E Jewish E L B O W

 

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

 

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow , push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow , hit my doorbell."

 

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? .........

 

 

"What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"

 

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Wise Italian Grandfather

 

 

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.................

 

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

 

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

 

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos. "

 

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man.

"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up' "?

[buster151]

[Guest lambrechts31]

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[andy Burgess]

[Guest Tooshy Boy]