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A bloke is driving around the back streets of London and he sees a sign in front of a broken down old house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

...

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the bloke recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the MI5.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a load of medals.'

'I got married, had a litter of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The bloke is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten quid' the bloke says.

'Ten quid? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a Bullshitter. He's never been as far as the back gate!!!

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