butcher

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grizzled old biker type sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!' She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!' Again, the old biker smiled,'Therefore, I can never beat you!' She raised an eyebrow and asked intently,'Are you still good in bed???' The old biker leaned back, beamed a big smile.I rang the door bell,did'nt i.ha! ha! ha!

RIP Jessie . Wullie Stark & family

One of the first looters convicted of ransacking a DFS store has been given a hefty fine....but nothing to pay until 2012 and then 4 years interest free credit.

Came in today SU11NW 3382 In Lochgelly Fife

I was in ecstasy, with a smile on my face, As my girlfriend moved forwards then backwards......... Forwards then backwards......... Back and forth.. Back and forth.. In and out.. In and out.. Her heart was pounding faster and faster. Her face was getting flush and she started to grunt and groan. Then she let out one almighty scream!!........ "I can't park this fu*king car...You do it you smug bast*rd"!

Any one stay near blanefield ( north of glasgow ) that that can pick up a pigeon from a non fancier

Butch graham 01592 869927

S.N.F.C GOLD CUP RACE from MESSAC- Friday 24th June.The convoy of 1159 birds were liberated at 05.30 am - No Wind. Good luck to all. Total SNFC Birdage -1,159 - Sections- A-175,B-246,C-181,D-124,E-318,F-39,G-76.

2 together 6-30 this morning thats them all home

Carlos Tevez is the latest footballer linked to a super injunction. Apparently, the bird he was with doesnt want to be named

Phone R.Armit 01337 840675

the bird belongs to davey hunter 01592861575

thanks pal

just in GB09L 47502

a man has an industrial accident, calls his wife fae the hospital and tells her"i have cut my finger off" she asked "the whole finger" he answered ??"no the one next to it"

Saw a fat bird walking down the street today. she had a T-shirt on saying I love the HIP HOP.. I think the letters C and S must have fallen off?....

eney takers su10f5973 sec not in

HAD A CAT IN THE LOFT TODAY KILLED 4 YB IN THE NEST THAY DONT CALL ME THE BUTCHER FOR NOTHING

must have been 8 or 9 years ago think joe murphy was the controller racing then was good wullie stark was the man ti beat then lol also flo it over 20 years a go

morpeth 91 mls ti lochgelly

a rangers fan and celtic fan were driving 1 night and they crashed neither was hurt but both cars written offin celebration of their luck they put differences to the side the celtic fan gets a 12 yr old whiskey from the car gives it to rangers fan who gulps half the bottle and says may the huns and tims live in harmony gies the bottle to celtic supporter who says naw i ll just wait on the polis ya blue nose *expletive removed*.

Doddi was in my pigeon club quite a carrictor his Daughter mama lives along the road from me

ICT V Celtic game Cancelled

Paddy goes in2 PC world looking 4 curtains 4 his PC, the assistant says u dont need curtains 4 a computer! Paddy says, "HELLOOO! Its got feckin WINDOWS!"

I heard Gary glitter has got a job at aston villa after hearing the strikers are Young,Bent,and proberly keane