Ian McKay Posted December 1, 2015 Report Posted December 1, 2015 Shortly after British Airways flight had reached it's cruising altitude,the captain announced :" Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain, welcome to Flight 293 non - stop from LondonHeathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventfulflight. So sit back, relax and .....OH,MY GOD !! OH, MY GOD!! NO, NO !!Silence followed !! Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom." Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you a flight attendantspilled a cup of coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants."One Irish passenger yelled.... " For f*#k's sake.... you should see the back of mine ! ! !
walterboswell59 Posted December 1, 2015 Report Posted December 1, 2015 Shortly after British Airways flight had reached it's cruising altitude,the captain announced :" Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain, welcome to Flight 293 non - stop from LondonHeathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventfulflight. So sit back, relax and .....OH,MY GOD !! OH, MY GOD!! NO, NO !!Silence followed !! Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom." Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you a flight attendantspilled a cup of coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants."One Irish passenger yelled.... " For f*#k's sake.... you should see the back of mine ! ! !lol liked that one ian
walterboswell59 Posted December 1, 2015 Report Posted December 1, 2015 (edited) a woman goes to the hospital to visit her ill father the old guys is falling to bits and has a few things wrong with him the daughter sits down at his bedside and how are you today dad ah no so good hen no so good why whats wrong now says the daughter the nurse has just told me my testicles are black says the old guy peering under the covers the daughter totally shocked dashes off to speak to the nurse in a rage wondering why with all the other problems he has they had to tell the old guy that seeing a nurse she says are you the nurse that told my father his testicles were black the nurse says no im the nurse that told your father his test results were backops sorry thought i was on joke board could some kind person move it thankyou Edited December 1, 2015 by walterboswell59
hotrod Posted December 2, 2015 Report Posted December 2, 2015 A man and his wife having a talk one day ,wife says to hubby if I was to die would you take up with another woman . After a wee think the man replies yes I would , the wife is upset ,so she says would you move her into this house , the hubby said after a short pause ,yes why not the mortgage is paid off ,wife again is upset , would you both sleep in our bed , man again thinks and says yes why not it's a brand new bed , wife again is really upset, would you take her to the golf course ,man again thinks and says yes I prob would ,wife is distraught at this time , so would you let her use my new callaway X-R clubs then , man right away says no , she's left handed .
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