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Posted

 

Proofreading is a MUST!!

 

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

 

  They put in a correction the next day.

 

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

 

      No, really? Ya think?

  ------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

 

     Now that's taking things a bit far!

  ------------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

   What a guy!

-------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

    Those-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!  

------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

   Well let’s see if that works any better than a fair trial!

  ----------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace

  Yep  I can see where it might have that effect!

----------------------------------------------------------------

  If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

   Ya think?!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

  Who would have thought!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide  

   They may be on to something!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

   You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? ( Tennessee 's new construction program!)

  ----------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

     He probably IS the battery charge!

----------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

   Weren't they fat enough?!

-----------------------------------------------  

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

   That's what he gets for eating those beans!

  -------------------------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

    Do they taste like chicken?

-------------------------------------------------

  Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

    Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

-------------------------------------------------

Hospitals are sued by 7 Foot Doctors

     Boy, are they tall!

-------------------------------------------------

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

    Did I read that right?

***************************************************

 

  

Now that you've smiled at least once, (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day! And

Voted the  Best Scottish Short Joke

A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian,

 

"Excuse me Missie, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?"

 

To which she stops doing her tasks,looks at him over the top of her glasses,and says,

"Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"

__._,_.___

 

 

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