Roland Posted January 27, 2009 Report Posted January 27, 2009 MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES: • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. • If Ryan, Garrett and Chad go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Donkey, GK Money Bags and Chet. EATING OUT: • When the bill arrives, Ryan, Garrett and Chad will each throw in £10, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY: • A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. • A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.. BATHROOMS: • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS: • A woman has the last word in any argument. • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE: • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS: • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. • A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE: • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP: • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL: • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. • Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING: • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.. • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it .. and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
Fife_pigeon_wife Posted January 27, 2009 Report Posted January 27, 2009 MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES: • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. • If Ryan, Garrett and Chad go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Donkey, GK Money Bags and Chet. EATING OUT: • When the bill arrives, Ryan, Garrett and Chad will each throw in £10, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY: • A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. • A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.. BATHROOMS: • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS: • A woman has the last word in any argument. • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE: • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS: • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. • A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE: • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP: • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL: • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. • Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING: • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.. • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it .. and to the men who will enjoy reading it. Are u looking 4 a divorce lol ;D
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