Because I'M A Man

[Roland]

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will

 

fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.

 

Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

 

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Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well,

 

I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what

 

I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say

 

to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now

 

with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know

 

where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and

 

break wind, as a form of holy communion.

 

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Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone

 

to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and

 

moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so

 

for you, this is no problem.

 

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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic

 

groceries at the store, like steaks, milk or bread. I cannot be

 

expected to find exotic items like 'tofu' or 'tampons’.

 

For all I know, these are the same thing.

 

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Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops

 

working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that

 

this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person

 

gets here and has to put it back together.

 

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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote

 

control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been

 

misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.... though

 

one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....

 

(former applies mainly to engineers).

 

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Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm

 

thinking about. The true answer is always either golf, cars,

 

sports or sex. I have to make up something else when

 

you ask, so don't ask.

 

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Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the

 

movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't…

 

… and if you are feeling amorous afterwards... then I will

 

certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

 

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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I

 

thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,

 

too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it,

 

looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

 

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Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2012, I

 

will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,

 

the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,

 

and I'll do the rest...... Like hosing down the patio and wandering

 

around in the garden with a soda wondering what to do next.

 

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This has been a public service message for women to Better Understand Men.

[Guest Tooshy Boy]

[just ask me]

herself loved it lol