MAKE YOU LAUGH OR MAKE YOU CRY

November 11, 2006

Subject: corny jokes that'll make you chuckle

>

>1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of

>them

>would have seen it.

>

>2. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana,

>press

>the hash key..."

>

>3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts..

>The

>shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

>

>4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find

>any.

>

>5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he

>couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too

>high."

>

>6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

>

>7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,"

>Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you

>can't,

>I've cut your arms off".

>

>8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

>

>9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the

>craft,

>it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat

>it.

>

>10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with

>hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

>

>11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc

>says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

>

>12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' - "That

>sounds

>like Tom Jones syndrome. " - ' Is it common? ' - "It's not unusual."

>

>13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there

>anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at

>him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

>Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's

>cross-eyed? ""No, because he's really heavy"

>

>14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my

>backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start."

>

>15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

>

>16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

>

>17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give

>me

>a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

>

>18 . Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other

>one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"

>

> 19 . Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,

>and

>the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

>

> 20 . "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.

>They

>left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was

>nice."

square_peg · November 11, 2006

DONT GIVE UP YOUR DAY JOB :-/ :-/ ;D ;D ;D

pault · November 11, 2006

:D

:D :DWELL DONE TAMMY1 THAT BRIGHTEND MY NIGHT UP CAN YOU SEND ANY MORE ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

:D

likklegriz · November 11, 2006

8) 8) 8) ;D ;D ;D ;D 13 AND 18 HAD ME ROLLING ABOUT CHEERS

ALF · November 11, 2006

TAMMY YOUR JOKES ARE S***E : : : : : :

ps...I WONDER WHERE YOU FOUND THEM?????

PIGEON_MAN · November 11, 2006

Cracking jokes Tam,we,re on the same wavelengh.

November 11, 2006

Just heard on the Tv News

The Governor of Alabama's Mansion was destroyed earlier today by fire, unfortunately it took the rest of the trailer park burned down as well

November 12, 2006

great jokes tam :)where on earth did you get them :B

November 12, 2006

DONT GIVE UP YOUR DAY JOB :-/ :-/ ;D ;D ;D

THERE HAD TO BE SOMEBODY WITH NO BRAINS AND IT JUST HAD TO BE YOU, MIND AND BRING ALL YOUR MONEY THE DAY TO THE SHOW AND SPEND SOME OF IT ON THAT POOR WEE BOY, I AM THINKING OF STARTING A WHIP ROUND SO THE WEE LAD CAN GET ANOTHER DOO BECAUSE HE ISNAE GETTING MUCH AFF YOU,BUT RIGHT ENOUGH HE KEEPS BEATING YOU, MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET A DOO AFF HIM