ghostrider

Nice surprise tonight

As for myself.... 9 COCKS 5 HENS Atb To all ...that are racing tomorrow.

re No comment!!!

And Another..... There's an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all talking about their teenage daughters.The Englishman says, "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smoked." The Scotsman says, "that's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank." With that the Irishman says, "both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a cock."

Zoo keeper says to Paddy, "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider shagging it for 500 pounds?". Paddy replies, "I will on 3 conditions: 1st I'm not going to kiss it. 2nd my family must never know. 3rd I'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together!"

Narrated by Brad Pitt, 'Hitting The Apex' is the inside story of six of the fastest motorcycle racers of all time and of the fates that awaited them at the peak of the sport. It’s the story of what is at stake for all of them: all that can be won, and all that can be lost, when you go chasing glory at over two hundred miles an hour – on a motorcycle. 'Hitting The Apex' portrays the intense rivalry between riders, but also captures evidence of the strong bonds and camaraderie that can exist in top level professional sport: the extreme competition between Valentino Rossi, Jorge Lorenzo, Casey Stoner and Dani Pedrosa; the friendship between Rossi and rising star Marco Simoncelli. And the phenomenal rise of the young rookie Marc Marquez and his attempt to become the fastest and most brilliant rider of them all.

He then notices a Jar that is full of money. The man asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender then says that he has a donkey in the back room and if anyone can make him him laugh they win the money. If not they owe me £100.The man say I can do it! So he goes into the back room and about 5 minutes later the bartender hears the donkey laughing out loud. The man walks out and takes the money from the jar, thanks the bartender, and leaves. About a month later the man comes back into the bar and there is a new jar of money. The man asks the bartender what the new jar of money is for. The bartender looks at the man and says if you can make the donkey cry the money is yours, if not you owe me £100.The man says ok I'll do it! He walks into the back room and about 2 minutes has goes by when the bartender hears the donkey crying. The man walks out and grabs the money out of the jar, but before the man leaves the bartender asks, "How did you make the donkey laugh?" The man looks at the bartender and says, "Well the first time I told the donkey that I had a bigger pecker then he did". "How did you make him cry?" ask the bartender? Well I showed him. Atb

Nice one!!!!

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you." Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with petrol,and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes late with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?" The little girl said, "She ran out of petrol about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

That was the forecast this morning,for Saturday As you know u can never trust the weatherman

A HUGE GIGANTIC black policewoman came up to me on my Stag night and said, "I'm arresting you for being drunk and disorderly." "Are you for real?", I asked. "I can assure you I am, sir", she said. "Thank duck for that", I replied, "for a moment I thought you were a stripper my mates had hired."

No Saturday Today training toss 36 miler

For us flying from Portsmouth,,20 mph SSW Winds Going by xc weather

No they are plug in only!!

Name: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) Location: Throughout the world Description: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & subspecies. Symptoms: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen! Habitat: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places. Antidote: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men. What To Do When Attacked: Tourniquet: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected. Cutting the wound: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow. Sucking the wound: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success. Searching for Anti-venom: 1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front. 2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion. 3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked. 4. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes. Conclusion: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet

Nice mate,never been without them,and never will!!! If you go on Greyhound Data...Punch in MUST BE TRIGGS,you will see him and some of his races Same with our old Red Lady,now running free up there...Salacres Lass. Also had two bubbly syndicate dogs TRIGGS is resting up,wrist injury,( chipped bone wrist ) Two and a half year old,to be honest I think he finished racing A Fire cracker when he was racing,trainer had high hopes for him. Being spoil to death now, But a Nightmare on walks always on the lookout for the kitties.!! Atb

Q: Why are hurricanes named after women? A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go they take your house and car with them!!

Same here,when we were taking the greyhound out for a eartha kitt etc Plus we had a rainbow as well,around 8.30ish Red sky at night...shepards delight Red rash in the morning ...doctors warning

Aren’t we all lesbians? A man is sitting at a bar and see two lovely women across the room. He calls the bartender over and says, “I’d like to buy those two ladies a drink.†The bartender replies, “It won’t do you any good.†The man says, “It doesn’t matter, I want to buy those women a drink.†The bartender brings the drinks to the women and they acknowledge the drink with a nod of their heads. A little while later, the man approaches the women and says, “I’d like to buy you two another drink.†The women both reply, “It won’t do you any good.†The man says, “I don’t understand. What do you mean it won’t do me any good?†The first lady says, “We’re lesbians.†The man says, “Lesbians? What are lesbians?†The second woman replies, “Lesbians… We like to lick vagi**s.†The man says, “Bartender, three beers for us lesbians.â€

Aldi.

We got the larger ones priced around £7.99 each.

Bought a couple Saturday,set them straight up into the lofts Inspected them Sunday morning 1 dead moth in the bottom Today on inspection my God there were Dozens of Moths Had to screw bottom back on Quick some were still alive 10/10 Switch mine on at dusk,off first thing.

A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. This peaks his curiousity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog. Then the dog acts in turn with all the other players, calling, raising, discarding, everything the other human players were doing. However none of the other players seemed to pay any mind to the fact that they were playing with a dog, they just treated him like any other player. Finally the man could not longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players, "I can't believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world!" The player smiled and said, "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."

A lady goes to her priest one day and confesses, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." What do they say?" the priest inquires curiously. The woman blushes as she explains that the two female birds repeat the same phrase over and over: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" That's obscene!" the priest exclaims. After a few moments of deliberation, however, he offers a solution. "You know," he says, "I have two male parrots, very devout birds, whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your female parrots to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship and speak in a more appropriate manner." "Thank you," the woman responds, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brings her two female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushers her in, she sees his two male parrots inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walks over and places her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female birds cry out in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There is a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered

Only glad to help