ghostrider

Good morning

:P :P

Looking like North wind doth blow over there in France That place is known as the graveyard for youngsters even on a good day In two minds should I ,shouldn't I

Prince charles goes down the sewers to meet the drainage workers. He is introduced to Alf who's worked there for 40 years. "The work is interesting " says Alf "for instance you see that turd over there? you can tell thats from the hairdressers in the high street because of all the cut hair stuck to it." "How interesting," says the prince. "And you see that one over there?" says Alf. That's from a garage toilet.You can tell by the oily sheen on it." "extraordinary," says the prince. And how about that large one over there in the corner?" asks the prince. "Thats from my very own house.Thats my wife's turd." "How on earth can you tell that?" asks the prince. "Easy,its got my sandwiches tied to it!!

Come back race We're at Marlbrough...120 miles Sending 15. Black cock is back,after splitting his crop Atb,to those that are racing Hope you get a gud un!!!

I bought the missus a gas mask for her birthday. It's great when she puts it on to have sex. There are three distinct advantages. She looks better, I can't smell her Bad Breath and.... when I block off the air inlet, she moves her hips like a 16 year old!!!

I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when your calling for a taxi. I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her butt. You know the kind. So I'm in my room and figure, IM UP FOR IT,I'll give her a call. "Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring all your implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We will go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?" She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9." :blush:

So I was at the doctor's clinic the other day with my farting problem. I explained it to him, "I fart all the time!! But the good part is that they are silent and they don't smell, so nobody knows. Ever since I stepped into your clinic, I have farted about 20 times and nobody noticed." He gave me some medicine and told me to come after a week. A week later I went fuming to his office... "What kinda medicine was that? Now my farts stink like hell!!... The good thing is that they are still silent so nobody knows I did it." The doctor calmly replied, "Ok so your nose infection is cleared. Next I will give you medicine for your ears......."

Nice one M8 WELL DONE!!!

glad someone likes them

The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles. One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?" Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied, "Not too bad, thanks." After a short pause, I heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?" Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick dump.... How about yourself?" The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some Prat in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."

PM,sent

Just found out he died last month R.I.P RAY ONE OF THE GREATS SADLY GONE!!!

An old bloke hires a hitman to kill his wife of 40 years. The hitman says, "I'll shoot her just below her left tit." The husband replies, "I want her dead not ...kneecapped!"

Has anyone on here got any of his birds That has a high hit rate with them..in club and fed Thanks in advance

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy, who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" "No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds. "Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to make love to ..ya both." "Fook off you liar!" "I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?" "Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"

Two Irishmen had a nightmare day visting the sperm bank in London. Paddy missed the tube and Murphy came on the bus!

For now!

Make that 2

Poole ESE wind Miles...170.1287yds Sent 14/3 out Atb

Central Derbyshire Fed Poole libbed 9.00 Atb

Two Aliens land in London,next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and looked around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach. The first one says "Earthling take me to your leader!" He gets no response. The first Alien looks at his mate then addresses the pump again. "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!" Still no response. The first Alien then turns to the second and says "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!" The second Alien replies "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the next street The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the end of the road,He then addresses the pump a third time. "Earthling take me to your leader!" No response. The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump. After the explosion the Alien gets up dusts himself off then goes down the road to his mate,He then says to the second Alien "If you knew that was going to happen why didn't you warn me?" The second replies "I didn't know what was going to happen, but I'm not going to mess with anyone who's dick can hang to the ground, wrap around his body twice, and still stick it in his ear!!

Morning!

A male and a female killer whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when the male looked up and saw the same whaling ship that killed his father several years earlier. Excited at the possibility of being able to avenge his father's death, the male said to the female, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time. That should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried and, sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Shortly thereafter, however, the whales noticed that the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming toward the shore. The male was enraged that they were getting away, so he said to the female, "Quick, let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." This time, the female wasn't quite as cooperative. "Listen," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but there is NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!"

Thanks guys Also a big thanks to Kevin Elliott!! For that bit of good some Advice