Paddy And Visits The Zoo

ghostrider · August 21, 2015

Zoo keeper says to Paddy, "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider shagging it for 500 pounds?". Paddy replies, "I will on 3 conditions:

1st I'm not going to kiss it.

2nd my family must never know.

3rd I'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together!"

ghostrider · August 21, 2015

And Another.....

There's an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all talking about their teenage daughters.The Englishman says, "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smoked."

The Scotsman says, "that's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank."

With that the Irishman says, "both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a cock."

Delboy · August 21, 2015

hahahahha

buster151 · August 21, 2015

:emoticon-0136-giggle:

MIK · August 21, 2015

another

Feeding time at the zoo. The zoo keeper was feeding monkeys and 3 escaped, they terrorised the park, stealing food and mugging old ladies. Enough was enough as they couldnt be caught and always stayed in this one tree, so the keeper phones Paddy the monkey catcher.

Paddy comes to the zoo with a wee brown dog wagging its tail, "right where is these monkeys?" he asked, zoo keeper shows him where they are and Paddy gets to work.

Big strong Paddy goes and shakes *expletive removed* out of the tree ...one monkey falls...the wee brown dog goes and shags it till it collapses. Paddy picks it up and puts it in a sack.

Same again..Paddy shakes tree ..monkey falls and dog shags it till it cant move...Paddy bags it

3rd time ...Paddy shakes the tree...the last monkey clings on with everything it has after seeing what happened to its 2 mates. Paddy frustrated at this goes and gets the zoo keeper and told him to bring that shotgun. Paddy starts climbing the tree. The zoo keeper asks "what do ye want me to do with this shotgun?"

Paddy shouts "IF I FALL OFF THIS TREE ...SHOOT THAT FECKING DOG"