Don't Fart In Harrods

[ghostrider]

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly 'TRUMPS'.

 

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.

 

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of

a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well

 

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect

of a professional in a store like Harrods.

 

He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help

you today?

 

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman

somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of

this lovely bracelet?'

 

He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going

to sh!t yourself when I tell you the price!"

[ghostrider]

The Arab and the Scotsman

 

An Arab Sheik was admitted to St Vincent Hospital for heart surgery,

but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case

the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't

be found locally, so, the call went out to all the states.

Finally a Scot was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot

willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab

sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW,

diamonds & US dollars.

 

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a

corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more

than happy to donate his blood again.

 

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card &

a jar of candies.

 

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab this time did not reciprocate

his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab & asked him:

"I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me a BMW,

diamonds & money... But you only gave me a thank-you card & a jar of

candies".

 

To this the Arab replied: "Aye, but I now have Scottish blood in my

veins".__

[paddymac]

very good :emoticon-0136-giggle:

[lanarkshire lad]

Good stuff.

[ghostrider]

A visitor to a Mental institution asked the Director how he decided which patients should be kept in.The director said "we fill up a bath,and then offer the patient a teaspoon,teacup or a bucket & ask them to empty the bath tub". Oh i see the visitor said, a normal person would choose the bucket, because it's the biggest. No says the Director a normal person would just take the plug out, now would you like a bed near the window!

 

That's all folks

For now