Free Sex

[Roland]

A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'A Chance To Win Free Sex with Each Fill-Up.'

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his chance for free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex.

The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7.... sorry, no sex this time.'

A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.'

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, 'I think that game

is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.'

Bubba replied, ' No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week.

 

Guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks. 'What's up with the jar?'

Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money..'

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. 'What are the three tests?'

'Pay first, those are the rules.' says the bartender. So the man gives him

the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

'OK,' the bartender says. 'Here's what you need to do .......

First, you have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once ... and you can't make a face while doing it.

Second, there's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

Third, there's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm

during intercourse. You've gotta make things right for her.'

The man is stunned. 'I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot, I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things ..'

'Your call,' says the bartender, 'but your money stays where it is.'

As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks,

'Wherez zat tequila?'

He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with big slurps. Tears

streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy scuffle going on outside.

They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then silence.

Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the

bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body.

'Now,' he says. 'Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?'.....