Frank eh.

[Roland]

Time for another joke ... repeats perhaps som, but have so many I often forget lol.

 

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a Brooklyn construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.

  

She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them; she put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.

 

    She walked up to the group and with a big smile said: "Do you men know Jesus Christ? "

 

They shook their heads and looked at each other.  One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled, 'Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?'

 

One of the steel workers yelled down,   "Why"?

The worker yelled back, "His wife's here with his lunch."

 

Did you hear about the Irishman, who was heading for the airport, and he saw a sign that said "Tullamarine Airport-Left" ...so he turned around and went back...!!

 

I posted this before I think … but like it any way lol

 

A young ventriloquist had been touring clubs around the world.  One night he's doing a show in a small town in Oklahoma. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.    

A blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough  of your stupid blonde  jokes!  What makes you think you can stereotype women in that way?  What does  the color of a person's hair have to do with her  worth as a human  being?  

It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in   the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person.  

Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not  only blondes, but women in general ....and all in the name of  humor."

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde yells: "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shxx sitting on your  knee!"

 

 

 

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank . He's a guy who did everything right - all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank, no he was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros and beat them. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy"

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special"

Cabbie: "There's more.......He had a memory like a computer. He could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank, well he could do everything right."

Passenger "Wow, he some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake"

Passenger. "Mmmm, there's not many like him around."

Cabbie: "No that’s true, and he really knew how to treat a woman, to make her feel good and would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - he was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank."

Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"

Cabbie: "I married his **BLOODY** widow."