50 pure dead giveaways that you are Scottish

[DOVEScot]

50 pure dead giveaways that you are Scottish

 

1.  Scattered showers, with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly

wind, is your idea of good weather.

 

2.   The only sausage you like is square.

 

3.   You were forced to do Scottish Country Dancing every year at high school.

 

4.   You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an

idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldyin is someone over 40 and

Baltic is cold.

 

5.   You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as

long as it's deep fried - Haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish,

chicken and battered Mars Bars.

 

6.   You used to love destroying your teeth with Penny Dainties, Wham

Bars, Cola Cubes and Soor Plooms.

 

7.   You always greet people by talking about the weather.

 

8.   Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia,

Deacon Blue, Big Country etc, you still love it when they are played

in a club abroad (in fact you'll probably ask the DJ to play it).

 

9.   You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland plays

a diddy team.

 

10.  You are proud that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and

smoking deaths in Europe.

 

11.  You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday

afternoon with his lamp, Paladdin.

 

12.  You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books every Christmas.

 

13.  You only enjoy Weir's Way on the telly when you are pished.

 

14.  You are able to recognise the regional dialect, (Glasgow)

"Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat. Cheers magic

pal."   (Aberdeen) "Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? Fair few

quines in the night, min."   (Inverness) "Ah-eee right enuffff! How's

you keeeepeeeen?"

 

15.  You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone

shout "Errapolis."

 

16.  You have witnessed a 'Square Go'

 

17.  You know that when you are asked which school you attended they

really mean, 'Are you Catholic or Proddy?'

 

18.  You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink,

Tunnock's Teacakes, Snowballs, Caramel Wafers, Porage, Macaroon Bars,

Baxters Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.

 

19.  A Jakey has asked you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

 

20.  You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.

 

[OLDYELLOW]

are and you dont have a kitchen it's a scullery ( spelt wrong )

[DOVEScot]

are and you dont have a kitchen it's a scullery ( spelt wrong )

 

Naw it is spelt right enough  

[rembrant2coo]

when are we getting the other 30 ,auld yin hmmm over 40,s

[OLDYELLOW]

lol at 50 his finger was tired

[OLDYELLOW]

with scullery and Arbroth smokies that be 22

[DOVEScot]

when are we getting the other 30 ,auld yin hmmm over 40,s

 

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  :B :B :B :B :B :B :B

 

50 pure dead giveaways that you are Scottish

 

1.  Scattered showers, with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly

wind, is your idea of good weather.

 

2.   The only sausage you like is square.

 

3.   You were forced to do Scottish Country Dancing every year at high school.

 

4.   You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an

idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldyin is someone over 40 and

Baltic is cold.

 

5.   You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as

long as it's deep fried - Haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish,

chicken and battered Mars Bars.

 

6.   You used to love destroying your teeth with Penny Dainties, Wham

Bars, Cola Cubes and Soor Plooms.

 

7.   You always greet people by talking about the weather.

 

8.   Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia,

Deacon Blue, Big Country etc, you still love it when they are played

in a club abroad (in fact you'll probably ask the DJ to play it).

 

9.   You have an enormou s feeling of dread, even when Scotland plays

a diddy team.

 

10.  You are proud that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and

smoking deaths in Europe.

 

11.  You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday

afternoon with his lamp, Paladdin.

 

12.  You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books every Christmas.

 

13.  You only enjoy Weir's Way on the telly when you are pished.

 

14.  You are able to recognise the regional dialect, (Glasgow)

"Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat. Cheers magic

pal."   (Aberdeen) "Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? Fair few

quines in the night, min."   (Inverness) "Ah-eee right enuffff! How's

you keeeepeeeen?"

 

15.  You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone

shout "Errapolis."

 

16.  You have witnessed a 'Square Go'

 

17.  You know that when you are asked which school you attended they

really mean, 'Are you Catholic or Proddy?'

 

18.  You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink,

Tunnock's Teacakes, Snowballs, Caramel Wafers, Porage, Macaroon Bars,

Baxters Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.

 

19.  A Jakey has asked you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

 

20.  You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.

 

21.  You know that the right response to 'you dancing?' is 'you

askin?', followed by 'am askin' and finally 'then am dancin'.

 

22.  You associated sawdust with vomit, coz the 'jannie' always used

to pour it over sick in school.

 

23.  You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt.

 

24.  You don't do shopping - you 'go for the messages.'

 

25.  You're on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to.

 

26.  You are able to conduct a 20 minute phone call using three words

only - Awright, aye, and naw.

 

27..  When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, 'You no weell?'

 

28.  You have heard the following: "You canny fling pieces oot a 20

storey flat".

 

29.  You know that going to a party means bringin a kerry oot.

 

30.  Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a

heatwave back home.

 

31.  Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think

getting beat 3-2 was 'no a bad result'.

 

32.  You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie and Kirkcaldy.

 

33.  You love deep fried pizza.

 

34. You can't pass a kebab shop after being at the pub.

 

35.  You are used to four seasons in one day (Winter, Winter, Autumn, Winter).

 

36.  You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink.

 

37.  You see people wearing shell suits with Burberry accessories and

think 'that's class'.

 

38.  You measure distance in minutes.

 

39..  You understand Rab C. Nesbitt.

 

40.  You go to Saltcoats because you think it's abroad.

 

41.  You can make a whole sentence using only swear words.

 

42.  You know what haggis is made with but you still enjoy it.

 

43.  You know someone who planned their wedding around the football fixtures.

 

44.  You have been to a wedding and the football results have been

announced in church.

 

45.  You're not surprised to find one shop selling ALL of the

following: Pizzas, Nappies, Fags, Curries, Milk, Paint, Shoes etc.

 

46.  Your seaside home has calor gas under it.

 

47.  You know that Irn-Bru is a good hangover cure.

 

48.  You could swear before you could count.

 

49.  You would 'nut' a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport.

 

50.  You are not only Scottish but Glaswegian when you understand the

following; how's it hingin', clatty, boggin', cludgie, ba'heid,

bawbag, and double nougat.

 

[rembrant2coo]

weel din min ,that was guid

[carlsberg]

good ones

[chickadee]

Ha ha ha ha ....... still proud tae be scottish. ;D

[Guest chrisss]

deep fried haggis ,i used to love that stuff ;D ;D ;D ;D

[gangster]

that sums big rab wings04 up ....ha ha ha

[gangster]

the only one im confused about is ian mckay with his posh accent cant tell weather he is scottish or not....???????????? :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/

[Guest Paulo]

lorne sausage rocks