What is needed

[Roland]

 

 

Lesley and her husband Barry went for counselling after 37 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, Lesley went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 37 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking Lesley to stand, unbuttoned her blouse, embraced her, put his hands on her breasts, and kissed her passionately as her husband Barry watched with a raised eyebrow.

Lesley shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to Barry and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?'

 

Barry thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf ..... can you pick her up?'

Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married....

 

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'.

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the wine went down way too easily.

Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed three times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem perturbed in the least.

  Whew, I got away with that one!

  Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said,

 

'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh s**t.' Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

 

[Guest]

i liked the second one  ;D

[DOVEScot]

i liked the second one  ;D

 

AYE BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL IN THE HONEYMOON PERIOD and davey is not needing to play golf yet ;D ;D ;D

[Guest]

 

AYE BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL IN THE HONEYMOON PERIOD and davey is not needing to play golf yet ;D ;D ;D

 

PMSL, Tried golf once, not a game for me! Very low attention span! Bent my club in a fit of temper at keep missing the ball, then when i did connect moving it foward about a foot, then slicing it about 12 feet sideways! No, definately not a game for Davey.  ;D

[DOVEScot]

 

PMSL, Tried golf once, not a game for me! Very low attention span! Bent my club in a fit of temper at keep missing the ball, then when i did connect moving it foward about a foot, then slicing it about 12 feet sideways! No, definately not a game for Davey.  ;D

 

You will learn when the time is right, Amanda just keep an eye on him when he starts looking for golf clubs ;D ;D ;D

[Guest]

 

AYE BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL IN THE HONEYMOON PERIOD and davey is not needing to play golf yet ;D ;D ;D

 

pmsl. Golf was only invented to give women a break from the constant" wheres me shirt, wheres my car keys, have you seen my phone, whats for tea lol ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D