A hot one

[Roland]

(Graphic Language)...  A Cowboy Story

 

Three cowboys are sitting around the campfire out on the lonesome prairie; with the bravado for which each is famous, it is a night of tall tales.

 

Tim, the guy from Alberta says, 'I must be the strongest,

meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other

day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth.'

 

J.P. the guy from Manitoba, couldn't stand to be bested. That's nothing, 'I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot diamondback rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that *expletive removed* with my bare hands, bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp and didn't even get a belly ache.'

 

Ray, the cowboy from Saskatchewan remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his p*cker.

 

 

For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was Pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation

Or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of Money if she would go to Italy to secretly have

The child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, He would also provide child support until the child Turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the Baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to Simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti'

On the back. He would then arrange for the child Support payments to begin.

 

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his Confused wife. 'Honey!,' she said, 'you received a very strange Post card today..'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it Later,' he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as Her husband read the card, turned white, And fainted.

 

On the card was written:  Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without. send extra sauce.'

 

 

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. 'Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt,' the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, 'Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?'

 

Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, 'Sure,' and sinks the putt.

 

Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, 'Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one.' The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, 'Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?'

 

Shrugging, the golfer replies, 'Okay.' And he makes an eagle.

 

On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, 'Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?'

 

'Definitely,' the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.

 

As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, 'I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life.'

 

[Roland]

The guy replies, 'Never mind let me tell you, I'm Father O'connel'!