A 'Short' Joke....

Roland · February 13, 2009

A 'Short' Joke....

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer and, at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password.

Something he could remember easily and would use each time he had to log on.

The husband was a bit bored by the process and, feeling in a rather amorous mood, figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he paused for effect, then letter by letter, with his wife watching over his shoulder, he keyed in ......

P E N I S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

PASSWORD REJECTED....... NOT LONG ENOUGH

An Israeli doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can

take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for

Work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one

person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

A Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can

Take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both

looking for work in two weeks.'

The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind, we

recently took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White

House for eight years, and now half the WORLD is looking for work.'

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of

breath.

The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 year old said, 'Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies. '

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, 'Do you have any rye bread?'

She said, 'Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?'

He said, 'I want 5 loaves.'

She said, 'My goodness, 5 loaves... by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard.'

He replied, 'I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this but me.'

A foursome of men is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tees.

The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet. She goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.

She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess all those f--king lessons I took over the winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately responds, 'Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf lessons instead!'

He never even had a chance to duck.

The Back Pew

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the

congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice,

"Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers." The entire congregation said, "Amen."

Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.

One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before."

The other Nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."