Ever wonder?

[Roland]

      Ever wondered ..........

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

 

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

 

Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

 

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

 

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

 

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows XP?

 

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

 

Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?

 

Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?

 

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?

 

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

 

Why they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?

 

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

 

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

 

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

 

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

 

Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

 

                                  and in case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods……

 

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."

 

On a bag of Crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.  Details inside.

 

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

 

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

 

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating

 

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body

 

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:  "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication

 

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness

 

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only

 

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."  

 

On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

 

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts"

 

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

 

On a Swedish chainsaw:  "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals