A chocolate Calculator

[Roland]

 

Chocolate Calculator.

 

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway- but the Hershey Man will know! YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH. This is pretty neat.

 

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute .

Work this out as you read .

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

 

 

 

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

 

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

 

3. Add 5

 

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

 

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ..

If you haven't, add 1758.

 

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

 

 

You should have a three digit number

 

 

The first digit of this was your original number

(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

 

The next two numbers are

 

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

 

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

 

A traditional Indian story.

The Story of Four Horse

 

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She called Four Horse".

 

The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.

 

What does it mean?"

 

The Old Indian answered,

"It old Indian Name. It mean,

 

NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"

 

A beautiful blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood.

 

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

 

'Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,' he said, 'How much will you charge me?'

 

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, 'How about £50?'

 

The man agreed and told her that the paintbrushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

 

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, 'Does she realise that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?'

 

He responded, 'That's a bit cynical, isn't it?'

 

The wife replied, 'You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately.'

 

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

 

'You're finished already?' the startled husband asked.

 

'Yes', the blonde replied, 'and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.'

 

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten quid tip.

 

'And by the way,' the blonde added, 'it's not a 'Porch' it’s a cortina’.

 

Another True Life Drama

 

A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?

 

He declines. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra,' he says. 'It's really taken the edge off my appetite.'?

 

 

At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. 'A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?'

 

 

He declines. 'The Viagra,' he says, 'really trashes my desire for food.'

 

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. 'would you like a juicy rib-eye steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?

 

He declines again. 'No,' he says, 'it's got to be the Viagra... I'm still not hungry.'

 

 

 

'Well,' she says, 'Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving!