A couple to go on with

[Roland]

    

       Husband asks his wife:How many men have you slept with?  

 

      Wife proudly replies:

 

      Only you darling, with all the others, I was awake!

 

 

Six retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses £500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

 

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up.

 

At the end of the game, Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his vife?"

 

They cut the cards.. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news.

 

They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

 

"Discreet?  I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet.  Discretion is my middle name.  Leave it to me."

 

Goldberg goes over to the Meyer's condo and knocks on the door.  The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants?

 

Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost £500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home."

 

"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.

 

"I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.

 

=

 

[the dude]

keep em coming   :) :)