New Technoligy eh!

[Roland]

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit her.

 

'May I see the new baby?' I asked

 

'Not yet,' she said. 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first.'

 

Thirty minutes passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

 

'No, not yet,' She said.

 

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

 

'No, not yet,' replied my friend.

 

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

 

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

 

'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

 

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.!'

Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm.   It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!

 

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A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.   Paddy ordered a whiskey.

The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust  "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"

 

Paddy handed his drink back and said  "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"

 

-----------------------------oOo-----------------------------

 

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you ?"

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?

For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment

(Boom, Boom)