Move over Tiger

[Roland]

 

http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/cspanjunkie/amazing-2-year-old-golf-prodigy  

Smart Ass

    

Then there was...

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.   As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.

  

One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked "What are you sellin' here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."

  

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You're doing well.  Only two left."

  

Seniors - don't mess with them !  

 

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My  Life' by Bill Clinton.

Titanic:.... Cost - $29.99

Clinton  :..... Cost - $29.99

 

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read

Clinton  :..... Over 3 hours to read

 

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Clinton  :... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

 

Titanic:.... Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton  :..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

 

Titanic:.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton  :.... Ditto for Bill.

 

Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton  :..... Ditto for Monica.

 

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton  :... Let's not go there.

 

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.

Clinton  :.... Monica' s forced to return her gifts.

 

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton  :.....     Clinton  doesn't remember jack.

 

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen..

Clinton  :...... Monica.. ooh, let's not go there, either..

 

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton  :..... Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing