Blonde Logic

[Roland]

Think I may have posted these before...

 

Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench talking

and one blonde says to the other,

 

"Which do You think is farther away Melbourne or the Moon?"

 

The other blonde turns and says

 

"Helloooooooooo, can you see *expletive removed* Melbourne.??"

 

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station telling the mechanic that it simply died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

 

She asks, "What's the story?"

He replies,

 

"Just sh** in the carburretor"

 

"Ohh How often do I have to do that?"she asked

 

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speedingand asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff,

 

"I wish you people would get your act together.

 

Just yesterday you take away my license and

today you expect me to show it to you!"

 

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk.

 

She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,"How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and

Shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

 

The first one says "Duh ..so I am . Sorry to have bothered you!!!"

 

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young Redhead goes into the doctor's office saying

that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and

screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even

more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she

pushed her ankle and screamed.

 

Everywhere she touched made her scream.

 

The doctor said, "You're not really a Redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"

 

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

 

The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

 

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

 

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

 

 

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their

heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said

The Russian.

The Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're

going at night!"

 

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.

She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her

question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your

name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

 

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two

new dogs, and asked her what their names were.The blonde

responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde.

"They're watch dogs!"