Today'S Wit

[Roland]

Today's Wit

 

These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.

 

 

ADULT:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

 

BEAUTY PARLOR:

A place where women curl up and dye.

 

 

CANNIBAL:

Someone who is fed up with people.

 

CHICKENS:

The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

 

COMMITTEE:

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

 

DUST:

Mud with the juice squeezed out.

 

EGOTIST:

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

 

HANDKERCHIEF:

Cold Storage.

 

INFLATION:

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

 

MOSQUITO:

An insect that makes you like flies better.

 

RAISIN:

Grape with sunburn.

 

SECRET:

Something you tell to one person at a time.

 

SKELETON:

A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

 

TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction.

 

TOMORROW:

One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

 

YAWN:

An honest opinion openly expressed.

 

and MY Favourite!!

 

WRINKLES:

Something other people have... similar to my character lines.