A Quick Three

[Roland]

Dave the Chameleon was visiting an Norfolk primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their' meanings.

 

The teacher asked Mr. Chameleon if he would like to lead the discussion on

the word 'Tragedy'.

 

So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'.

 

A little boy stood up and offered: If my best friend, who lives on a farm,

is playing' in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.

Incorrect, said David. That would be an accident.

A little girl raised her hand: If a school bus carrying fifty children

drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy.

'I'm afraid not', explained Chameleon, that's what we would refer to as a

great loss''

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. David searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy'?

 

Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand and said: 'If a plane carrying Cleggie, the chancellor of the Exchequer and Vinnie Cable, plus half the Tory cabinet, with yourself were struck by a 'friendly fire' missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.

 

'Fantastic', exclaimed Chameleon, 'and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy'?

 

'Well', said Johnny, 'it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't

be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be a fooking accident either!

 

Not all Seniors are senile !

 

An older, white-haired man walked into a jewellery store this past Friday evening with a beautiful, much younger girl at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £25,000 ring.

The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special." At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over.

"Here's a stunning ring at only £350,000," the jeweller said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."

On Monday morning, the jeweller angrily phoned the old man and said, “There's no money in that account.â€

“I know,†said the old man, “But let me tell you about one HELL of a WEEKEND I had!â€

 

My neighbours, the two cute, young, lesbians next door, asked me what I would like for my birthday.

 

I was quite surprised, when they gave me a Timex! It was very nice of them, but I'm pretty sure that they misunderstood me, when I said:

 

"I wanna watch !"