golly

[Roland]

A parish priest was being honoured at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. "You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had stolen money from his parents, embezzled money from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had indeed come to a fine parish full of understanding and loving people." Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk. I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honour of being the first one to go to him in confession ---- !

 

A man walking along a Californian beach was deep in prayer, when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,...... "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Please Lord, could you build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want?" The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic, just think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific, the concrete and steel it would take plus it will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honour and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time......Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife...... I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says, "nothing's wrong!" and how I can make her truly happy?" There was a long silence, and then the Lord replied, "Do you want two or four lanes on that bridge?"