todays joke

[hotrod]

boy says to his dad

whats the difference between theoretically and realistically

dad thinks for a moment and say's ,i'll try and explain

he'say's ,go ask mum if she would sh ag wayne rooney for a million quid ,he does and she say's yes

then he says ask your sister ,he does and she says yes

now go and ask your brother ,he does again and he says yes

now the boys dad says ,there you go

theoretically were sitting on 3 million quid ,but

realistically were living with 2 slappers and a poooof.

[Guest WINGS 04]

breaking news the 2 swine flu patients in monklands hospital have been put on the ppp diet pizza poppadoms & pancakes

oh good will this cure us they asked.

will it *expletive removed* says the docter ,but its the only food we have that will slied under the door!!

[PATTY BHOY]

Two Old Fanciers

 

 

 

Two old Fanciers, Abe and Sol, are sitting in Sol’s loft feeding the pigeons and talking about the races they had flown, and all the narrow wins they had won, which they liked to talk about everyday.

 

Abe turns to Sol and says, “Do you think there is pigeons racing going on in Heaven?â€

 

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno. But let’s make a deal: if I die first, I’ll come back and tell you if they are racing pigeons in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.â€

 

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting out in the loft, watching his birds and missing Abe, when he hears a voice whisper, “ Sol…Sol…â€

 

Sol responds, “Abe! Is that you?â€

 

“Yes it is, Sol.†whispers Abe’s ghost.

 

Sol, still amazed, asks, “SO, is there pigeons races in Heaven?â€

 

“Well,†says Abe,†I’ve got good news and bad news for you Sol.â€

 

“Gimme the good news first,†says Sol.

 

Abe says,†Well…there is pigeon races in Heaven.â€

 

Sol says, “That’s great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?â€

 

Abe sighs and whispers, “You’re shipping with us Friday Night.â€