Night Dresses Can Be Fatal ?

[Ian McKay]

NIGHTDRESSES CAN BE FATAL

 

 

A husband walks into Anne Summers to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.

He is shown several negligee's that range from £200 to £500 in price - the more

sheer, the higher the price.

He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £500, and takes it home. He presents it

to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks ( she is no dummy ), " I've an idea.... it's so sheer that

it might as well be nothing.I won't put it on, I'll do the modelling naked, return

it tomorrow, and keep the £500 refund for myself."

She appears on the balcony and strikes a pose. " What do you think darling she

asks him, I think it is beautifull."

The husband says, " Good grief !!!, You'd think for £500, they'd at least iron it."

He never heard the shot.

The funeral is on Thursday at noon.

[ghostrider]

Paddy had been drinking all day and most of the night at his local Dublin pub. Mick, the bartender says "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy."

 

Paddy replies " Ok Mick, Oil be on my way den." Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

 

crap" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

 

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. "crap, crap!" he cries. He looks to the doorway and says to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air, he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame.

 

He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, Feels better and takes a step out onto the pavement. He falls flat on his face.

 

"Bejaysus, I'm wrecked" he says. He can see his house just a few doors down and crawls to the door, shimmies up the door frame, opens the door then collapses inside.

 

He takes a look up the stairs and says "No effinchance.". But, he crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door. Again he pulls himself up by the doorframe, takes a step Into the bedroom and falls flat on his face.

 

I gotta stop drinkin" he says as he drags himself across the floor and into bed.

 

The next morning his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee. "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit much to drink last night?

 

Paddy says"I did Jess, I did. I was wrecked. How'd you know?

 

"Mick, the bartender phoned. Yuh left ya wheelchair at the pub." :

 

[buster151]

:emoticon-0136-giggle: